GW14 PREVIEW: Arsenal, Everton and XFactor references this week

#FPL Gameweek 14 Preview

Written by @CraigHazell

 You can also listen to Craig, Tom and Ash on their Fantasy Football Podcast – The Gaffer Tapes


DEFENDER: Glen Johnson, Stoke

“Craig, why don’t you pick more Stoke players?” is a sentence no one has ever said to me in my 31 years of life. But then, no one had ever offered me honey mango until a couple of months ago and now I bloody love the stuff. Once called “The black Gary Neville” by a guy who sold pirate DVDs  at The Original Oak in Leeds, Glen Johnson has been ticking away nicely this season and much like that aforementioned honey mango, seems to be ripening wonderfully. He has notched 42 points in his last 7 gameweeks and you can’t scoff at a 6 point average for only 5.0m. Add to that, Stoke play Sunderland this week and even when they scored against Palace at the weekend, they didn’t look like scoring. With Man City next week,  Johnson isn’t a long term option maybe but he’s worth a punt in your squad if you want to make some wiggle room for Aguero.



MIDFIELDER: Ross Barkley, Everton

I don’t really have any choice but to pick Ross Barkley as my midfield choice this week. Last week, I left him on my bench, after much deliberation, giving the pillar of inconsistency Sadio Mane one last chance. Barkley scores 19 points and the rest is history. The difference between a bang average score and moving up the tables in one horrible decision. Barkley himself hasn’t exactly been on form but as mentioned at length last week, Everton have one hell of a run of games and Barkley will be a big part of that. At 7.0m that’s still pretty decent value, just keep an ye on when to sell at the right time.



FORWARD: Sergio Aguero, Man City

There can only be one man here. Mr Sergio Aguero. He’s back playing and if he’s playing, he’s scoring. He grabbed one goal in his first appearance since single handedly demolishing Newcastle and with the title really up for grabs then Pellegrini won’t have the luxury of easing Kun back in. If you’re wondering how to afford him, then I would consider shipping out KDB. That or take your younger brothers PS Vita to GAME and see what they give you.

CAPTAIN: Mesut Ozil, Arsenal

Skipper this week has to be the most in form midfielder in European football and everyone’s favourite lesbian, Mesut Ozil. He’s setting up goals, he’s scoring goals and he doesn’t look like stopping with Arsenal’s favourable run. I personally don’t think Arsenal have the mustard to quite mount a title challenge but you can sure as sh*t guarantee if they do then Ozil will be a big part of it. He has left Cazorla and even Sanchez in his wake of late and I’m amazed his is only 30% picked.


OUTSIDER: Troy Deeney, Watford

Do you remember when they replaced Kate Thornton with Dermot O’Leary on X Factor and everyone said “you can’t replace Kate Thornton” but then, like, a year later they were totally like “Wonder what Kate Thornton is up to now” and now you’re like “who on Earth is Kate Thornton?” Apply that logic to Jamie Vardy. You’re probably wondering if I really needed to mention Thornton but I wanted to give her something to read as she inevitably googles herself to death in her ever decreasing bungalow surrounded by cats and copies of Hello from the 90s. Leicester have a very difficult 5 weeks and although Vardy is still going to be a huge threat, we have to sadly accept that (gasp) Leicester won’t win the league. Troy Deeney offers a good alternative if you want to temporarily replace that third striker role. Deeney has 3 goals in 4 games, is a stick on for penalties, and is only 2.3% picked. Watford have games against Villa, Norwich and Sunderland coming up and wins in two of those games could really cement their path to survival.

Ed: It occurs to me as I read Craig’s preview and make the difficult weekly decision on what parts we can actually post that he may have had a Kate Thornton poster on his bedroom wall…or may still have?


 by @CraigHazell



Craig Hazell is a television professional, writer and Heart of Midlothian fan who makes up one third of the popular FPL podcast The Gaffer Tapes. As a student, Craig won the BBC Sports Broadcaster and Comedy Broadcaster of the year, before going onto to be a regular on the London open mic comedy circuit. He now writes about anything from TV & Movies, to food and of course football, providing he can shoehorn a 90s pop culture reference into just about anything.

Check out The Gaffer Tapes Podcast Here

gaffer tapes


Posted on 27 Nov 2015, in Player Selection and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

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