Who’s Hot and Who’s Not – FPL Double Gameweek 34
Guest Post from @tongueinloftus
Welcome to GW34’s Who’s Hot and Who’s Not article, with your host Tongueinloftuscheek. Nice to see you, to see you…it’s alright, I suppose.
Usually I’m the content manager over at fplbet (which is code for “chief spell-checker”, in all honesty) but today I’ve removed that uniform. Instead I come to you dressed only in my civilian undergarments – slightly skid-marked, after last night’s curry – and discuss the hottest and coldest propositions ahead of GW34.
Contrary to popular belief, the selections featured in this column are based solely on FPL-form, and not, as many have suggested, on the good (or bad) looks of the players in question. Having said that, it’s difficult to turn a blind eye to the devilishly chiselled features of Alexis Sanchez, and you certainly won’t find Adama Traore on the “Hot” list until he gets rid of that feather-duster inspired hairdo. I’m only human.
Whilst GW33 saw many of the usual suspects register a respectable tally, there were a few head-turners among the week’s biggest scorers too (yes, I’m looking at you, Ander Herrera). Let’s take a look at who makes it onto our “Hot” list ahead of GW34, and who is suffering from a severe case of frostsh*te.
Alvaro Negredo (£6.2m, 12.3%)
Alvaro Negredo has scored 2 goals in his last 3 games for Middlesbrough. I’m aware that this is about as prolific as it gets for an attacker at the somewhat impotent Teeside club, but they sit on the precipice of an incredibly inviting double gameweek, starting with a long coach journey to Bournemouth and ending with a home fixture against struggling Sunderland. With this in mind, the Spaniard’s recent form simply cannot be ignored. It’s important to stress that Negredo is a GW34-only purchase. He should be treated in the same way that you’d treat a disposable camera in the 90’s – useful for the duration of the holiday, but taken to Boots straight afterwards in exchange for something that you actually want to keep. I fancy him to outscore Zlatan over GW34.
Kyle Walker (£6.4m, 33.8%)
It looks like Kyle Walker is back where he belongs: in a Spurs starting line-up that has showed no signs of losing any of its ridiculous momentum. It may feel like stating the obvious, but Kyle is currently raising global temperatures at an alarming rate. Over the past few weeks he’s been dropped by numerous managers, so now feels like a good time to bring in the Spurs man for the remainder of the run-in. It’s no secret that Spurs and defensive rigidity go even better together than Sam Allardyce and buffets, and with Walker’s attacking prowess, additional points feel like an inevitability too.
Andros Townsend (£5.8m, 2.6%)
Whilst managers have clamoured to get Zaha in before the DGW, one Palace midfielder has slipped quietly under the radar, like a bald submarine. Despite his low ownership, Andros Townsend has outscored Zaha over the past 5 gameweeks: his form going into GW34 has never been better. Someone must’ve left him in the car with the windows closed over the bank holiday, because he’s hotter than a dehydrated dog at the moment, and I reckon he could well turn out to be a shrewd differential pick this double gameweek.
Zlatan Ibrahimovic (£11.4m, 31.5%)
A risky way to start this category, but I’m not going to be bringing Ibra in ahead of his double gameweek. This has nothing to do with the fact he was rested last week (though, admittedly, that does strengthen my argument) – it has more to do with the fact that the man has two tough away fixtures against defensively stubborn teams, and he can often disappear in those kinds of games. For a man of Zlatan’s size, that’s no easy feat. If I owned him already, I’d obviously give him the nod, but I don’t, and quite frankly, that doesn’t worry me. I’ll look forward to eating my words when he scores a hat-trick in each game.
(Ed: He’s also out now injured, possibly for the rest of the season.
For the latest Zlatan Injury updates from injury expert Ben Dinnery click here)
Chris Brunt (£5.0m, 2.9%)
Chris Brunt was cold about a month ago. Now the layer of ice that covers him is so thick that it’s hard to distinguish him from his equally frosty teammate, Gareth McAuley. Despite playing in an advanced position for much of 2017, his returns have been hugely disappointing (15 points from the past 9 GWs according to our stats on fplbet.com). Whilst the wingback/midfielder hybrid has been lingering in FPL teams for some time, it’s time to hit the gym, delete all your messages and block him on Facebook. You deserve to start a new chapter in your life.
(Ed: WBA also don’t have a game this week)
Mesut Ozil (£9.4m, 6.0%)
This could be the most controversial of them all, but hear me out. I know Ozil has hit a purple patch, and I’m aware that he has been getting himself into more attacking positions recently, but the German is the final splash of water in this FPL ice-tray, and for good reason. Ozil would not be a bad purchase, necessarily, but I remain resolute that there are far better options in his price range. He is more expensive than any Tottenham midfielder, and his recent points tallies have flattered the strength of his actual performances. I watched the Middlesbrough game, and had it not been for the sun bouncing off his eyes and into the camera from time to time, I would’ve forgotten he was even on the pitch. Don’t believe the hype just yet, prioritise better value midfielders instead.
(Ed: Mesut has a new clothing label to promote this week- I’m expecting double figures)
If you’d like to read more fantasy football articles from me – and let’s be honest, who wouldn’t after such piercing analysis – you’ll find them over on fplbet. If, however, the prospect of reading another word written by me fills you with dread, please consider visiting the site nonetheless.
We have a trove of fantastic fantasy football statistics and I’m not allowed anywhere near them.
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