We approach the end of the strangest season in living memory.
A season without fans. A season without any real drama. A season without any classic matches that spring to mind. Relegation has been confirmed for all three teams at the earliest point in a Premier League season ever.
Manchester City were confirmed champions when their “biggest” rivals rolled over and played dead to stop their “biggest” rivals getting a shot at a Top 4 spot. The scenes of hysteria and joy of up to 50 people outside The Etihad celebrating will live long in the memory.
So, there’s sod all left to care about, and that may include your FPL season too. Certain people have somehow developed a third-eye and have seen this season with a clarity that has escaped most of us. They have run away with their mini-leagues. However, if there’s even a small chance that we can help you in the final mad dash for the line, as always, we’re here for you.
Written by @NiallHawthorne
Defender: Trent Alexander-Arnold, Liverpool
Were it not for Willock making Liverpool look like a pillock in the 95th minute of the GW33 fixture at Anfield, Trent Alexander Arnold would be sitting on a run of six consecutive returns featuring clean sheets, assists and goals.
This weekend he faces an away fixture against the first and only team bad enough to get Sam Allardici relegated – West Bromwich Albion. Have no doubt that Big Sam will be telling the whole squad how they have let him down badly and tarnished his stellar reputation.
Therefore, I can see his players being completely non-arsed about this game, while Liverpool will be, well, probably the same, but are better players and probably like their manager a bit more.
Midfielder: Heung-Min Son, Tottenham Hotspur
Last week in this spot, I tipped a player who had four goals and an assist in his last four games, and he’s already got 18 points in GW35 and I’ve been inundated* with thanks for tipping Mason Greenwood (*not one of you gits have bothered your hole)
This week I’m tipping a player with four goals and an assist in his last five games, as Heung-Min Son is ending the season in the kind of form he started it with.
Forward: Dominic Calvert-Lewin, Everton
Speaking of finishing as you started, DCL has sprung back into life with goals in consecutive games for only the second time this season since he started the season with 7 in 5 games.
When you bring that kind of form into a home game against a truly dreadful and relegated Sheffield United, you must fancy your chances.
Captain: Danny Ings, Southampton
This is outrageous, and I demand answers.
Somebody has made it so Kelechi Iheanacho doesn’t play this week! Who’s responsible for this? Another 9 points in GW35 and now he’s been ripped from our collective grasp. This hurts.
So, we look elsewhere, and I’ve settled on Danny Ings. Ignoring those games where he was a bit broken, he’s got four goals in his last four starts, including a double last night against Crystal Palace.
This week he faces relegated Fulham and Scott ‘The Streets’ Parker.
Dry yer eyes mate
I know it’s hard to take but the points have been added up
Your team finished in the bottom three
Dry yer eyes mate
I know you want to make us see how much this pain hurts
But you’re relegated now, it’s over
Outsider: Ben Godfrey, Everton
How about a defender at home to Sheffield United, owned by less than 1%, just £5m and has 9 clean sheets already this season?