Tottenham vs Liverpool – Champions League Final A Liverpool Perspective by @NiallHawthorne This team. This f*cking team. This team are not the same as last season’s team. They’re not going to be the same as next season’s team. They’re this season’s team, a unique collection of individuals brought together at a moment in time, creating […]
GW38 Preview by @NiallHawthorne
there’s a Preview here somewhere…
And now, the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I’ll say it clear
I’ll state my case, of which I’m certain
I’ve lived a season that’s full
I’ve endured each and every game week
And more, much more than this
I did it my way
Regrets, I’ve had quite a few
But then again, too many to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption
I planned each captain pick
Each power chip along the season
And more, much more than this
I did it my way
Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew
When I wanted to throttle my motley crew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I stared at my phone, and I did shout
I faced it all and I stood tall
And did it my way
I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried
I’ve had my fill, my weeks of losing
And now, as tears subside
I find it all, all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a wise way
Oh no, no, not me
I did it my way
For what is man, what has he got?
If not FPL, then he has naught
To play the players he truly rates
And not the players of his best mates
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way
And did it my way
Defender: Aymeric Laporte, Manchester City
On the back of four clean sheets, a cheeky assist in GW37 and maximum bonus points for three weeks running, Laporte heads to the Amex to face Brighton & Hove Albion with it all on the line. As a Liverpool fan (I’m now happy to make this stunning revelation to you all) I know how this game will go. Brighton will camp on the edge of their box from minute one, hoping to hold out. Duffy and Dunk will spend 90 minutes flinging their bodies in the way of every one of the 374 shots that will be aimed at Ryan in the game. City will score early, will then keep their foot on the throttle, and will probably score four to secure the title. All the while, Brighton will forget that they too could attack, so Laporte’s average position for his clean sheet will be 5 yards inside the Brighton half. Easy defensive points, innit?
Midfielder: Eden Hazard, Chelsea
Eden Hazard will say farewell to Chelsea this Sunday before he departs for pastures new, and he’s going to want to put on a show. Chelsea are away to Leicester City and I reckon this game could finish 3-3 at least. Brendan Rodgers has a unique relationship with the final day of the season, as he once led Liverpool to a five-goal shellacking at Stoke City. I back Hazard to net and assist and then wave goodbye as he heads off into a new and even more lucrative life.
Forward: Sergio Aguero, Manchester City
He’s already scored a league winning goal deep in injury time, and he has 90 full minutes to do the same this weekend. Which he will do. Probably more than once. What a Kun….
Captain: Mo Salah, Liverpool
While Liverpool will end the season empty-handed, Mo Salah will be gunning to retain his Golden Boot award, and a home game to Wolves will offer him the opportunity to do just that. He’ll be fresh from not having faced Barca, and I reckon he’ll notch twice to seal the deal. Unless my Aguero tip turns out to be even more on the money than I fear…
Outsider: Ryan Fredericks, West Ham United
You know that thing a lot of customer service departments do to retain customer loyalty? They treat you shoddily for ages and ages and ages. You feel annoyed, then angry, then hopeless, then angry again, then you’re right on the verge of giving up, and THAT is when someone swoops in, does something they should have done at the very start, but it’s such a bloody relief that you feel happy it’s over, and you forget all about the crap that went before it, and you go on your merry way.
That’s West Ham United, that is. Ropey all season long, but they’ve now won a couple of games on the spin, and their fans will head into the summer feeling chipper and with hope in their hearts.
But who are we to complain? Ryan Fredericks is getting a game, is owned by 0.2% of FPL players, has two clean sheets and a goal in his last two appearances, and is facing a Watford team that will have both eyes on an FA Cup final and are going to dial it in.
Draft: Alexander Mitrovic, Fulham
He’s probably been dumped or traded by anyone who had him, as his recent form has been rank. However, he’s facing his former team, Fulham are showing a bit of form, and you just know how this goes, right?
Right, that’s me done for the season. Thanks to everyone who read this FPL/Brexit/Trump analysis piece each week, and for those who followed me and interacted with me on Twitter. To those of you who didn’t, you’re all miserable ungrateful b*stards.
Have a nice summer!
GW37 PREVIEW BY @NIALLHAWTHORNE
The final long weekend of football is upon us for GW37. Next week all the action will be squeezed into two action packed hours on a Sunday, but this week we have glorious FPL action from Friday through to Monday night.
Soak it in. Absorb it. Remember it. It’ll be next August before you experience it again.
If you are defending a lead, or scrambling for points, let me guide you to the promised land.
Defender: Sead Kolasinac, Arsenal
Time to roll the dice ladies and gents. You need to make up ground in your mini-league, and this is how you do it. You select a player from a calamitous defence who’s facing a team who refuse to attack and are intent on grinding out a 90 minute stalemate. That gives you what the experts call a differential.
Midfielder: Ryan Fraser, Bournemouth
Spurs travel to Deans Court this weekend in the middle of a pulsating Champions League semi-final against Ajax, trailing by a goal. It’s not often Spurs find themselves in this situation, and while they aren’t guaranteed a top four spot just yet, they’re probably safe considering the slapstick shodiness of their competition.
So they’re ripe for a plucking, as my randy old dyslexic pipe-smoking grandfather used to say. Ryan Fraser has been in sensational form since his agent told him that three top Premier League teams are interested, and a strong finish to the season would get him that big move. Motivation is a powerful tool.
Forward: Romelu Lukaku, Manchester United
Whether it’s for pride, a vain attempt at gaining a top four spot, or a desperate attempt to attract the attention of other clubs before the summer transfer window opens, Romelu Lukaku will turn up at Huddersfield this weekend, full of vim and vigour.
I’m personally looking forward to the goal-laden LukakuWatchYIRMA this weekend.
Bring. It. On.
DISCLAIMER: LOOKS LIKE BIG ROM WON’T MAKE GW37 DUE TO INJURY. BUT IT’S GW37 AND NIALL COULDN’T BE ARSED REWRITING IT.
Captain: Jamie Vardy, Leicester City
There’s good form, great form and Jamie Vardy form.
The man is on fire, and he’s going to be facing a team that plays a defensive line so high that if it was adopted in GoT or Avengers Endgame, the show would have ended after 30 minutes.
Don’t lecture me about spoilers! You f*king ask me for them every bloody week! Make up your minds!
Anyway, Vardy to run riot and secure the title for Liverpool. You heard it here first.
Outsider: Ryan Babel, Fulham
Fulham travel to Molineux to face high flying Wolves, absolutely certain of a resounding victory. Everyone has now realised that the bottom four teams in the Premier League are like Kryptonite to Nuno Espirito Santo and his troops. I expect the now veteran clog merchant to continue his fine form for the Cottagers by extending their winning run to four games.
Draft: Sergio Rico, Fulham
Three clean sheets on the spin and a banker against Wolves. Nobody else owns him, so you should.
Fantasy Football – Gameweek 37 Preview – Written by @NiallHawthorne
Written by Niall Hawthorne.
Drop Niall a follow on twitter. Good thing about Twitter – you can always unfollow again later!
Niall Hawthorne has a strange view on most things.
Check out his blog for proof rantsofarebel.wordpress.com.
Fantasy Football – Gameweek 36 Preview – Written by @NiallHawthorne As the season end approaches, I found myself perusing through the Bang Average YIRMA league to see what kind of a standard this preview has helped (stop giggling) to engender. I must say loyal readers, you have very, very high standards (although why you continue […]
Fantasy Football – Gameweek 35 Preview – Written by @NiallHawthorne And so, we’ve finally arrived at Double Game Week 35 – where those of us with chips left will roll the dice one last time. It’s like a weekend away in a budget Monte Carlo. In all seriousness though, this could be the week when […]
Fantasy Football – Gameweek 34 Preview – Written by @NiallHawthorne Technically GW34 is a Double Gameweek. I say technically because the two teams doubling up are Brighton and Cardiff. That’s like having dinner with both Donald Trump and Nigel Farage. You get to eat, but you know you’re going to end up banging your head […]
Fantasy Football – Gameweek 33 Preview – Written by @NiallHawthorne After the carnage/glory of Double GW32 (delete as appropriate), we are now slapped in the face by the proverbial wet haddock that is Blank GW33. Just the six matches this weekend, and the fare on Saturday looks as appetising as a bowl of Nigel […]
Fantasy Football – Gameweek 32 Preview – Written by @NiallHawthorne It’s finally here! Double Gameweek 32 and the moment you’ve been waiting for, longing for, pining for. The chance to play THREE Fulham double gameweek players! Let’s go! Defender: David Luiz, Chelsea Fixtures against Cardiff (A) and Brighton (H) present a great opportunity for […]
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Fantasy Football – Gameweek 31 Preview – Written by @NiallHawthorne This will either be the culmination of weeks of strategic planning to ensure you have a full complement of players; a reluctant yet necessary use of your ‘Free Hit’ chip with frantic scouring of Huddersfield squad details; or a hold your nose / head in […]
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Lineups from 3:30pm Arsenal: LENO, MAITLAND-NILES, SOKRATIS, KOSCIELNY, MONREAL, KOLASINAC, XHAKA, RAMSEY, OZIL, AUBAMEYANG, LACAZETTE Subs: CECH, MUSTAFI, ELNENY, GUENDOUZI, SUAREZ, IWOBI, NKETIAH Manchester United: DE GEA, YOUNG, LINDELOF, SMALLING, SHAW, MATIC, FRED, POGBA, DALOT, LUKAKU, RASHFORD Subs: ROMERO, BAILLY, ROJO, MCTOMINAY, ANDREAS, MARTIAL, GREENWOOD Have you been looking for a new podcast?? […]