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Honestly, There’s No Liverpool Players!

GW37 PREVIEW BY @NIALLHAWTHORNE

The final long weekend of football is upon us for GW37. Next week all the action will be squeezed into two action packed hours on a Sunday, but this week we have glorious FPL action from Friday through to Monday night.

Soak it in. Absorb it. Remember it. It’ll be next August before you experience it again.

If you are defending a lead, or scrambling for points, let me guide you to the promised land.

Defender: Sead Kolasinac, Arsenal

Time to roll the dice ladies and gents. You need to make up ground in your mini-league, and this is how you do it. You select a player from a calamitous defence who’s facing a team who refuse to attack and are intent on grinding out a 90 minute stalemate. That gives you what the experts call a differential.

Midfielder: Ryan Fraser, Bournemouth

Spurs travel to Deans Court this weekend in the middle of a pulsating Champions League semi-final against Ajax, trailing by a goal. It’s not often Spurs find themselves in this situation, and while they aren’t guaranteed a top four spot just yet, they’re probably safe considering the slapstick shodiness of their competition.

So they’re ripe for a plucking, as my randy old dyslexic pipe-smoking grandfather used to say. Ryan Fraser has been in sensational form since his agent told him that three top Premier League teams are interested, and a strong finish to the season would get him that big move. Motivation is a powerful tool.

Forward: Romelu Lukaku, Manchester United

Whether it’s for pride, a vain attempt at gaining a top four spot, or a desperate attempt to attract the attention of other clubs before the summer transfer window opens, Romelu Lukaku will turn up at Huddersfield this weekend, full of vim and vigour.

I’m personally looking forward to the goal-laden LukakuWatchYIRMA this weekend.

Bring. It. On.

DISCLAIMER: LOOKS LIKE BIG ROM WON’T MAKE GW37 DUE TO INJURY. BUT IT’S GW37 AND NIALL COULDN’T BE ARSED REWRITING IT.  

Captain: Jamie Vardy, Leicester City

There’s good form, great form and Jamie Vardy form.

The man is on fire, and he’s going to be facing a team that plays a defensive line so high that if it was adopted in GoT or Avengers Endgame, the show would have ended after 30 minutes.

Don’t lecture me about spoilers! You f*king ask me for them every bloody week! Make up your minds!

Anyway, Vardy to run riot and secure the title for Liverpool. You heard it here first.

Outsider: Ryan Babel, Fulham

Fulham travel to Molineux to face high flying Wolves, absolutely certain of a resounding victory. Everyone has now realised that the bottom four teams in the Premier League are like Kryptonite to Nuno Espirito Santo and his troops. I expect the now veteran clog merchant to continue his fine form for the Cottagers by extending their winning run to four games.

Draft: Sergio Rico, Fulham

Three clean sheets on the spin and a banker against Wolves. Nobody else owns him, so you should.

Fantasy Football – Gameweek 37 Preview – Written by @NiallHawthorne

Written by Niall Hawthorne.

Drop Niall a follow on twitter. Good thing about Twitter – you can always unfollow again later!

Niall Hawthorne has a strange view on most things.

Check out his blog for proof rantsofarebel.wordpress.com.

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Liverpool, Arsenal and Leicester to Fire in the Blank Gameweek

Chelsea, Man City, Man United – Make Mine A Double!

Blank, Blank, Liverpool, Blank, Snodgrass

Arsenal vs Manchester United: Confirmed Lineups

Arsenal, Huddersfield and a Lucky Dip

Gameweek 29 Preview : Written by @NiallHawthorne

Ten games to go. Ten GW’s left. The clock is ticking, and whatever situation you find yourself in, there’s still enough time to change it. Leading your mini-league and on the verge of glory? Time to kick on. 100 points behind your mini-league leader and in need of inspiration? Time to kick on. Bottom of your mini-league and the subject of abuse on an hourly basis? Time to kick on.

Whatever your situation, follow these tips and you’ll be assured to alter your starting position by Sunday evening.

Note: Following these tips can lead to your overall rank going down as well as up. These tips are not regulated by the Financial Authority of Ireland or England.

Hell, they’re barely regulated by @FantasyYIRMA

Defender: Shane Duffy, Brighton & Hove Albion

Brighton have found themselves in a bit of a pickle of late. A side that had seemed to the casual observer to be tootling along in the lower reaches of mid-table, under no real threat, find themselves two points from the drop zone. The seagulls have ruffled feathers. However they do have a game in hand on those around them, and this weekend they have a home game against Huddersfield Town. So two games in hand on those around them then.

That may sound harsh on a Huddersfield Town side that just tamed Wolves in midweek, but I’m nothing if not harsh. Brighton will be targeting this game as a ‘do or die’ affair, and they’ll be led in defence by their talismanic defender Shane Duffy. Five goals, two assists and five clean sheets to his name already, and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he increased two of those scoring brackets against the Terriers.

Midfielder: Paul Pogba, Manchester United

Eight goals and seven assists in his last 11 GW’s. You can’t ignore that form, particularly when Pogba faces struggling Southampton at Old Trafford this weekend. He was very close to my Captaincy choice this week to be honest with you, that’s how sure I am he’s going to perform.

Pogba has looked so assured and so talented in recent months. It’s a shame then that he’s got the maturity level of a 7 year old told to get off his Xbox. There’s no doubting his talent, but he’s a spoiled brat with an ego so big it’s got its own weather system.

I’m still picking him though.

Forward: Raul Jimenez, Wolverhampton Wanderers

I saw a lot of wailing and gnashing of teeth in midweek from Wolves fans distraught at the defeat to Huddersfield Town in midweek. For the love of all that his holy, every single one of those moaning should be on their knees thanking whatever deity they believe in that it wasn’t a classic relegation six-pointer they were involved in, which would be the norm for two recently promoted clubs in most seasons. Wolves have massively exceeded expectations this year, as has Raul Jimenez. I may be in a minority here but for some reason I just haven’t bought into his hype, despite his impressive figures. 10 goals and 7 assists in 28 GW’s is sensational. I’m not sure what it is, but I’ve had a distrust of all things Mexican since ‘The Night Of 20 Tequila Shots’ in 1999. But they say everyone deserves a second chance, so I’m jumping onboard the Jimenez gravy train. And if the bouncers and owners of The Washington Inn in Cork City are reading this, I surely deserve a second chance by now? Please? That stain must have come out by now?

Captain: Sergio Aguero, Manchester City

No change here, he’s facing a Bournemouth side that are leaking goals at an enormous rate. While the Cherries are a much tougher proposition at home, City can temporarily go top of the table for just over 24 hours with a point at Deans Court. I mean, they’re not going to choke now, are they!

Outsider: Chris Wood, Burnley

Despite their recent blip at St. James’ Park, Burnley have become Burnley again thanks to getting back to the very basics. Keep it tight, lump it long, and have two big lads make your life miserable if you’re defending against them. Wood has 6 goals in his last 9 appearances, and Sean Dyche will be growling at his charges to target home games against the likes of Crystal Palace, and to stretch the current 5 point gap to the drop zone.

Draft: Manuel Lanzini, West Ham United

He’s back. He’s good. Get him.

Gameweek Preview Written by @NiallHawthorne

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