Pep Roulette, Arsenal Shambles and Mike Dean’s Beard

Gameweek 30+ Review

Written by @JackAGoodwin

 

Aston Villa 0-0 Sheffield United

With 6 saves, all 3 bonus points and an almost guaranteed spot into Man United’s #1 shirt next season, Dean Henderson started off the blockbuster Premier League return by rewarding over ¼ million managers to bring him in. Sure, GW31+ he’s ineligible to play against United, but a 13-point haul from two games is great. Those banking on clean sheet points were rewarded with this stalemate of a match – nothing thrilling whatsoever from either side, a worry for Sheffield’s European aspirations. Lord Lundstram with a yellow card starting pretty naff. Grealish? Not much seen here aside from a funky haircut and tiny shin pads. Can either side reap more reward for the thousands of managers hoping for returns from the two DGW’ers? (spoiler, they cannot (lol)).

Man City 3 – 0 Arsenal

Poor Arteta. Arsenal took a punt on him, thinking the Pep “rub” would’ve made him a decent manager. An example, David Bellion played alongside Cristiano Ronaldo for Man United. Did that “rub” make Bellion great? No. Did Pep’s “rub” make Arteta great? No. Arsenal looked out of sorts, no real attacking threat for Arsenal with Auba legging it about with no service and Pepe benched. Ozil not even in the squad. Times are really tough at the Emirates. City on the other hand rewarding the many many managers whom decided to triple up on City assets for the DGW. Sterling & De Bruyne bringing home the theoretical bacon! Aguero, made a pigs bollock of his opportunity with nothing but a mere assist, which, was hilariously not given initially to which you Twitter “experts” kicked-off about until they awarded it moments later. I love you lot. Hilarious. Leno made 9 saves this match and was awarded a bonus point the poor sod. The only one worthy of the Arsenal shirt. Oh yeah, David Luiz. What a LAD. (subbed on, red card, takes responsibility for the entire teams failure to play football).

Norwich 0 – 3 Southampton

Two trains of thought going into this one. Can Pukki “start” the restart of the season as he did the season opener? Can Ings continue his pre-season-postponement-momentum? Pukki, showcasing a lovely tanned head but really pale scalp due to a clearly very recent haircut was in no party mood. Norwich looked crap. Even Cantwell (the only real scouted FPL asset going into the restart) was so quiet he didn’t even grab any bonus points. Southampton clearly wanted this one much more, Ings being the standout alongside the under-the-radar Armstrong and always-overlooked Redmond.

Tottenham 1 – 1 Man United

Two sides with everything still to play for fought out a draw, which, seems fair. Spurs sat back for the majority but hit some dangerous counters at time (mostly Son, never Kane). United struggled to get through until Pogba came on in the second half to show the threat United can be in the back end of the season. Bruno was always a threat and deserved the goal. Bergwijn likely won’t be transferred in by most – a freak goal seemingly out of nowhere thanks to a De Gea howler and Maguire defensive error. Son aside, Spurs don’t look the most appealing – United however have options, and will likely see FPL interest going in to GW31+ as they host Sheffield United. Pogba, Bruno, Rashford – you’ll likely have to have at least one of them for the run-in.

Watford 1 – 1 Leicester

Is there anything sweeter than a last-minute goal? Chilwell snatching the win at the death from Watford’s grasp with an absolute screamer. Celebrations all round. But then, superstar striker and Barcelona target Craig Dawson then went up the other end and scored a worldie of his own – drawing the match. Sarr was a real handful for Leicester throughout and those who did bring him in will likely keep hold. Vardy was quiet, Deeney still seemingly waking up from lock-down and neither side’s looking too impactful just yet with their restart opener. Leicester now need to buckle up for a battle to keep their 3rd spot, Chelsea the likely to contend for it after this stumble. Watford very much in the relegation battle but out of the teams in the fight – look the better. A fair result for a game lacking in much attacking prowess from either side.

Brighton 2 – 1 Arsenal

A incredible fight-back for Brighton overshadowed by Maupay’s unintentional injury of Gunners Leno – which – all of Arsenal were adamant he meant. Pepe, a sub and sub-par player from the City game opened the scoring with a belter, curling past Ryan. In Maupay’s words, Arsenal then became complacent and got what they deserved – Brighton fighting back and then stealing all 3 points in the dying moment to lift them near safety in the relegation mix. Arsenal with 2 losses from 2 in their DGW showcase look terrible. Lacking in confidence and now fighting for a Europa place with those above relatively confident that they’re of better quality to see out the season. Auba will likely see a mass-exodus from teams. Arsenal totally unmotivated, as are us FPL managers wanting to part ways with high FPL cash in exchange for players who don’t look comfortable in their team. Brighton – will you scoop up Maupay? With Leicester and Man United up next it’s probably a no.

West Ham 0 – 2 Wolves

Super Jimmy strikes again. Did we ever really doubt him? The real question now is whether he’ll stay a Wolves player come the 20-21 season. Doherty flaunting his FPL appeal with bonus points aplenty alongside his clean sheet and assist – most will stick with him if not bring him in. West Ham looked confused, not ready for the restart with no players shining, highlighted clearly by their TOP scoring BPS player in Mark Noble who was terrible himself. It does not look good, and the Hammers bubble may burst very soon if they don’t find some form in the coming weeks. Wolves did take a first half to settle, but once they did the engines started firing and Jiminez of course grabbed the goal. With Bournemouth, Villa and Arsenal next, Wolves assets look very juicy indeed.

Bournemouth 0 – 2 Crystal Palace

Bournemouth are a side reliant on their home crowd, a fanbase loud and influential for their games. Without them, they weren’t up for it. Without that one annoying fan screaming RED AAARMY for 90 minutes straight the Cherries struggled. Palace now just 4 points behind a Europa place are now looking pretty confident after this win, PVA the strongest player on the pitch taking home all the FPL points on offer. Has Bournemouth’s Premier League run ran out of steam? It looks highly likely.

Newcastle 3 – 0 Sheffield United

As I teased in the Villa/Sheffield review, Sheffield could not reward the thousands of FPL managers banking on the 2-match thriller points. Many triple-upped on Blades defenders, who, had 3 past them from a counter-attacking and hungry Newcastle side. Were Sheffield too complacent? Yes, slightly. Newcastle were always on the back foot all game but wanted this more. Sheffield as good a season they’ve had lack a star striker and the Lord Lundstram wasn’t even on the pitch for long. A 24 minute cameo which he conceded 2 goals for 0 points. Not a complete disaster for Sheffield, they need to pick themselves up right away as on Wednesday they head to Old Trafford against a strong looking Man United. Will the FPL world acquire any Newcastle assets? Well, unlikely. ASM is a star, but not FPL friendly. Joelinton is scrappy and inconsistent and Almiron as much as I love the little guy just can’t put a run of good games together. Interestingly however, Matt Ritchie, FPL darling of the past, looked really decent and could tempt a lot of people with being on many of Toon set-pieces. (he scored, assisted & grabbed the BP’s in this game). Has the incoming Toon Takeover spurred the players on? Are they showing their worth to potential new owners? Here’s hoping! Another team to knock down Arsenal even more – are they even considered top 4 anymore?

Aston Villa 1 – 2 Chelsea

It was looking like a hell of an upset for Chelsea as Villa took the unexpected lead. Boosting Chelsea’s European charge they took all the points in a real hard fought win. Villa (much like Bournemouth don’t have a recognized scoring threat) are struggling now 2nd bottom of the league, whilst Chelsea climbed 5 points above United, grabbing tightly on to the 4th spot. FPL goggles on, who looked good? Well, highly transferred in Grealish did not, at all. Where as Mount also failed to reward his new managers. It was super sexy (Ryan’s words) Giroud and Pulisic with the goals – but interestingly the best asset to own was Azpilicueta who bagged both assists, casting a shadow on the in-form Alonso. Those who grabbed Villa players likely used a free hit or planned to transfer them out after this DGW showing anyway, but those that hoped on some form coming out of it will be worried. Grealish needs a decent run-in to show why Man United & co should be looking his way.

Everton 0 – 0 Liverpool

If only Mike Dean was available in FPL, right? That beard. T’was like looking at Thor with shorts. Aside from that very devilish distraction from the Merseyside derby, the match – like every single damn game since the restart – began slow. Richarlison trying his hardest to wink at VVD at every opportunity and Tom Davis slowly rolling down his socks when the camera wasn’t looking. The absence of Robertson and Salah may’ve pissed off a few diehard FPL managers who stuck with them despite the DGW, holes filled with Milner and Minamino who is struggling to demonstrate why there was ever a buzz. Another bloody 0-0 half time ensued, here’s hoping that teams start doing things in the first half rather than plod about and have nice water breaks. The second, unfortunately for everyone – was also a stalemate. Goalless, both teams pressing with no result. Liverpool perhaps slightly subdued In knowing it’s “only a matter of time now” and Everton yet to realise how close they can get to European footie.

Man City 5 – 0 Burnley

City will win. You all have 3 City assets. Life goes on. I wrote those three nuggets prior to the game and they held pretty damn true. What I didn’t get to was how much Peps stupid roulette would ruin your evenings. If you took a punt on Mahrez, congratulations. If for some daft reason you took a punt on Foden – the Stockport Iniesta didn’t you know – then double congratulations. These two fellas stole the show with a couple of goals each. Will they keep their game time? Will Pep select them against Chelsea? Who the hell knows! Burnley, the poor sods, now head to Watford to attempt to heal their Mancunian wounds. If you HAD to pick a Burnley player, Ashley Westwood was the only-kinda lively player to be seen.

FantasyYIRMA Post-Covid League Review

OK first things first let’s get this out of the way – I currently sit 180th, 3rd from bottom. This is because I do not take it seriously and refused to take any Liverpool or Manchester City players purely because I don’t like them. Needless to say, I never ever take my own or Niall’s advice. Key point, Alex Ferguson wasn’t the best footballer but damn could he manage a team! Same thing, pretty much the same thing going on here with me. (ED: But you can’t manage a team either?)

Flip-reversing the league let’s look at the top end. James Amey (@JamesAmey316) is leading the pack with an astonishing 147 points clean. 86th overall GW rank in the world, and must be feeling pretty smug about himself this morning. This too, with only two City players in Mahrez & KDB ©. A brilliant showing. 60k in the world at the moment for James, can he make a huge run to the top 10k?

Someone already in that bracket, With 144 points, just behind James in 2nd is Jeff Marion (@JeffMarionLaw). My-names-Jeff currently now sits 5,720th in the WORLD. Fantastic! Unfortunate looking at your team however seeing your two GK’s are the ineligible Henderson and the injured Leno – some immediate GK TLC required pal. Not to mention a now injured Aguero.

In 3rd spot apparently is Jurgen Klopp, which, is great, sure, baffling a little but we’ll go with it. Jurgen only fielding Trent from his Liverpool side whilst tripling up on the City assets. I cannot confirm nor deny whether Jurgen is really Jurgen. I can confirm however than currently he sits above Jeff – 3,377th in the WORLD for Jurgen!

Shout out to 5th place Daniel Smith, doing great here in our league but with an overall rank of 1.5millionth!

Finally, in last place with 47 points this week is Kat Mortensen. Kat said balls to the DGW’s and threw in just Sane and Otamendi for token City players. Kat can pick this up – only 100 points away from 1st placed James. I believe in Kat. Kat can do it. Go Kat!

FOLLOW JACK ON TWITTER @JACKAGOODWIN

 

Written by Jack A. Goodwin -Follow him on Twitter @JackAGoodwin

Jack is an “alternative FPL writer” (Who knew, right?) looking for hidden tales behind the most obscure players, dark humour in the game and the creative storytelling to the most mundane of GameWeeks!He’s played the official game for over 7 years, running leagues throughout the offices of his day job.

Posted on 23 Jun 2020, in Player Selection and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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