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Glory Be! A Double Gameweek!

Written by Niall Hawthorne

The unique event in a season where you scour the Burnley squad because you actually want to put one or two of them into your team! How random! 

Onto DGW26! 

GW26 Defender: Kieran Tierney, Arsenal

Two games ahead this week, both at home, against Brentford and Wolves. 

Brentford have one goal in their last four away games. Wolves are more prolific, but aren’t exactly the top scorers in the league. 

Tierney is also in form with three clean sheets in his last four games, and six clean sheets in his last eight. 

Finally he has four attacking returns this season, has been picked when fit, and is owned by under 15% of players. 

GW26 Midfielder: Maxwel Cornet, Burnley

The start of a double double gameweek for the Clarets, who have four league games to play by March 1st. 

While pickings are slim amongst the ranks of the gravel-voiced master’s men, Cornet is the clear class act in the team with six goals to his name this season. 

Brighton and Spurs this week, and if you bring him in now, he’s facing Palace and Leicester next week.

GW26 Forward: Emmanuel Dennis, Watford

I’m clinging to the hope that his 14 attacking returns this season are evidence of class rather than form. 

If I’m right, then this week could prove the old maxim right, and with fixtures against Villa and Palace he’s the best attacking option for this week. 

I mulled over Edouard and Jimenez, but I just can’t see past Dennis this week. 

GW26 Captain: Mo Salah, Liverpool

Oh my…

Home games against Norwich City and Leeds United.

Liverpool are purring, strolling into the San Siro this week to slap Internazionale around, relentlessly chasing Manchester City down, and looking ahead to a Wembley final next weekend. 

If you have a Triple Captain chip, I’m struggling to see where and when you’d have a better option to play it. 

GW25 Outsider: Jadon Sancho, Manchester United

It’s now or never Jadon. 

Leeds and Watford in a DGW. Ownership of under 3%. Cost under £9m. If you can’t do it this week, will you ever do it? 

Your move…

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Fantasy Football Preview: Gameweek 24

Written by Mr. Niall Hawthorne

Now that AFCON, the winter break and the FA Cup are out of the way, we can concentrate on six glorious uninterrupted weeks of pure FPL mayhem, as Double Gameweeks approach, Blank Gameweeks loom large, and there’ll be more chips in circulation than Microsoft could handle.

Onto GW24!

GW24 Defender: Joao Cancelo, Manchester City

It feels like quite a while ago, because it was, but City’s bubble was slightly deflated in GW23 as they were held to a draw at Southampton, following a run of 963 consecutive wins spanning nine decades. 

This has left the door ever so slightly ajar for Liverpool, but City will be determined to slam it shut as soon as possible, starting this week at home to Brentford. This should be a routine home win with a clean sheet, so Cancelo is the obvious pick. He’s just penned a new contract and has only missed one start this season. With 12 clean sheets, 8 assists and a goal, the odds are he increases at least one of those stats this midweek. 

GW24 Midfielder: Jarrod Bowen, West Ham United

An astonishing 18 attacking returns in 23 league games for the Hammers, and he’s also doing it in the cups, scoring the 121stminute to shatter the hopes, dreams and future of non-league Kidderminster Harriers, the big bully. 

This week he has a home game against hapless Watford with Harry the Hornet alongside Hodgson hoping against hope for help in their relegation battle. 

While West Ham have wobbled in the league recently, they battered Watford in the corresponding fixture a few weeks ago, and Bowen racked up three assists and 14 points in that game. 

I’m expecting more returns for him this week. 

GW24 Forward: Ollie Watkins, Aston Villa

Ah yes, the forward pick. It’s like looking for the shiniest turd, the most-educated Brexiteer, the most logical anti-vaxxer. It’s basically impossible. 

However Leeds United have conceded a whopping 20 goals in their last 7 league games, and Ollie Watkins is due to break this worst barren spell of the season, so I’m going for him. 

GW24 Captain: Mo Salah, Liverpool

He’s back. 

They made him cry. 

They’ll pay. 

Oh, and Leicester City are imploding in typical Brodgers style as his time runs out at yet another club, so even if Salah only gets 20 minutes, he’ll plunder points. Nailed. On. 

GW24 Outsider: Wilfried Zaha, Crystal Palace

Following his AFCON excursion, Zaha returns for Palace away to Norwich City. In his next five games, he faces Norwich, Watford, Burnley and Brentford.

Less than 5% ownership and that fixture list? It’s a recipe for something, that’s for sure.

Your move…

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Fantasy Football Preview: Gameweek 20

Dec 27

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As we hurtle headlong through the most chaotic, stressful and controversial FPL Christmas period in history, I would like us all to take a step back and realise what’s really important at this time of year. 

Family. Giving. Sprouts. Peace. Goodwill. Resolutions. 

Yeah, sod all of them. 

What’s really important is that you listen to the absolute BANGER of a Christmas song we released this year. I’m not saying we threatened the Christmas charts, but that Sausage Roll lad had to team up with Elton and Ed to keep us down.

https://soundcloud.app.goo.gl/5h53HVnwdtPJsHzY9

Next year, my friends. Next year. 

Onto GW20! 

GW20 Defender: Kostas Tsimikas, Liverpool

Imagine you had the chance to get Andy Robertson into your FPL defence for just £3.7m, and imagine not taking it. 

Now imagine not picking Tsimikas for the next few weeks while Robertson is suspended. 

This is a gift that not even Santa Claus could deliver, so take it.

GW20 Midfielder: Raheem Sterling, Manchester City

Seemingly on his way out of Pep Guardiola’s plans earlier in the season, Sterling has now started seven of the last eight City league games, racking up six goals and an assist in that time and a whopping 56 points from those seven starts. Now if you carry the one and don’t forget to take for inflation, that’s an average of 8 points per start, which can’t be ignored. 

Of course he could be benched at the drop of a hat, but that’s the City conundrum so many have to deal with. Brentford are next up for City and when you compare the form of both teams, this has a spanking written all over it. If Sterling does get the nod to start, he could haul once more. 

Oh, and he’s owned by less than 3% of players, amazingly. 

GW20 Forward: Emmanuel Denis, Watford

Watford host West Ham at Vicarage Road as they prepare to play their first game since December 10th. To say they’re rested would be an understatement. 

West Ham meanwhile have been busily toiling over Christmas and are in a poor run of form. Where once they were MASSIVE, now they’re quite a bit smaller, with just one win their last seven league games. They’ve also started conceding far too many goals, with 14 conceded in their last nine. 

Denis is in a rich run of form with four goals and three assists in his last five starts. When you combine all of these facts, you put Denis up front in your team this week. 

GW20 Captain: Mo Salah, Liverpool

He’s back. 

He’s rested. 

Liverpool have all their big names back and ready to go. 

Leicester have conceded a whopping 33 goals in 19 games this season, and just shipped six goals at The Etihad. 

This could be an absolute Salah masterclass, and let’s face it, we all need to Captain the crap out of him before he departs for the AFCON in January.

GW20 Outsider: Lucas Moura, Spurs

The fifth most in-form player in the game right now, andowned by 2% of players. 

His team are on the up under a new manager, he keeps getting picked by said new manager, and he’s facing Southampton away next. Spurs have done damage there before…

Your move…

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Fantasy Football Preview: Gameweek 20

Dec 27

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As we hurtle headlong through the most chaotic, stressful and controversial FPL Christmas period in history, I would like us all to take a step back and realise what’s really important at this time of year. 

Family. Giving. Sprouts. Peace. Goodwill. Resolutions. 

Yeah, sod all of them. 

What’s really important is that you listen to the absolute BANGER of a Christmas song we released this year. I’m not saying we threatened the Christmas charts, but that Sausage Roll lad had to team up with Elton and Ed to keep us down.

https://soundcloud.app.goo.gl/5h53HVnwdtPJsHzY9

Next year, my friends. Next year. 

Onto GW20! 

GW20 Defender: Kostas Tsimikas, Liverpool

Imagine you had the chance to get Andy Robertson into your FPL defence for just £3.7m, and imagine not taking it. 

Now imagine not picking Tsimikas for the next few weeks while Robertson is suspended. 

This is a gift that not even Santa Claus could deliver, so take it.

GW20 Midfielder: Raheem Sterling, Manchester City

Seemingly on his way out of Pep Guardiola’s plans earlier in the season, Sterling has now started seven of the last eight City league games, racking up six goals and an assist in that time and a whopping 56 points from those seven starts. Now if you carry the one and don’t forget to take for inflation, that’s an average of 8 points per start, which can’t be ignored. 

Of course he could be benched at the drop of a hat, but that’s the City conundrum so many have to deal with. Brentford are next up for City and when you compare the form of both teams, this has a spanking written all over it. If Sterling does get the nod to start, he could haul once more. 

Oh, and he’s owned by less than 3% of players, amazingly. 

GW20 Forward: Emmanuel Denis, Watford

Watford host West Ham at Vicarage Road as they prepare to play their first game since December 10th. To say they’re rested would be an understatement. 

West Ham meanwhile have been busily toiling over Christmas and are in a poor run of form. Where once they were MASSIVE, now they’re quite a bit smaller, with just one win their last seven league games. They’ve also started conceding far too many goals, with 14 conceded in their last nine. 

Denis is in a rich run of form with four goals and three assists in his last five starts. When you combine all of these facts, you put Denis up front in your team this week. 

GW20 Captain: Mo Salah, Liverpool

He’s back. 

He’s rested. 

Liverpool have all their big names back and ready to go. 

Leicester have conceded a whopping 33 goals in 19 games this season, and just shipped six goals at The Etihad. 

This could be an absolute Salah masterclass, and let’s face it, we all need to Captain the crap out of him before he departs for the AFCON in January.

GW20 Outsider: Lucas Moura, Spurs

The fifth most in-form player in the game right now, andowned by 2% of players. 

His team are on the up under a new manager, he keeps getting picked by said new manager, and he’s facing Southampton away next. Spurs have done damage there before…

Your move…

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Fantasy Football Preview: Gameweek 20

Dec 27

Posted by

As we hurtle headlong through the most chaotic, stressful and controversial FPL Christmas period in history, I would like us all to take a step back and realise what’s really important at this time of year. 

Family. Giving. Sprouts. Peace. Goodwill. Resolutions. 

Yeah, sod all of them. 

What’s really important is that you listen to the absolute BANGER of a Christmas song we released this year. I’m not saying we threatened the Christmas charts, but that Sausage Roll lad had to team up with Elton and Ed to keep us down.

https://soundcloud.app.goo.gl/5h53HVnwdtPJsHzY9

Next year, my friends. Next year. 

Onto GW20! 

GW20 Defender: Kostas Tsimikas, Liverpool

Imagine you had the chance to get Andy Robertson into your FPL defence for just £3.7m, and imagine not taking it. 

Now imagine not picking Tsimikas for the next few weeks while Robertson is suspended. 

This is a gift that not even Santa Claus could deliver, so take it.

GW20 Midfielder: Raheem Sterling, Manchester City

Seemingly on his way out of Pep Guardiola’s plans earlier in the season, Sterling has now started seven of the last eight City league games, racking up six goals and an assist in that time and a whopping 56 points from those seven starts. Now if you carry the one and don’t forget to take for inflation, that’s an average of 8 points per start, which can’t be ignored. 

Of course he could be benched at the drop of a hat, but that’s the City conundrum so many have to deal with. Brentford are next up for City and when you compare the form of both teams, this has a spanking written all over it. If Sterling does get the nod to start, he could haul once more. 

Oh, and he’s owned by less than 3% of players, amazingly. 

GW20 Forward: Emmanuel Denis, Watford

Watford host West Ham at Vicarage Road as they prepare to play their first game since December 10th. To say they’re rested would be an understatement. 

West Ham meanwhile have been busily toiling over Christmas and are in a poor run of form. Where once they were MASSIVE, now they’re quite a bit smaller, with just one win their last seven league games. They’ve also started conceding far too many goals, with 14 conceded in their last nine. 

Denis is in a rich run of form with four goals and three assists in his last five starts. When you combine all of these facts, you put Denis up front in your team this week. 

GW20 Captain: Mo Salah, Liverpool

He’s back. 

He’s rested. 

Liverpool have all their big names back and ready to go. 

Leicester have conceded a whopping 33 goals in 19 games this season, and just shipped six goals at The Etihad. 

This could be an absolute Salah masterclass, and let’s face it, we all need to Captain the crap out of him before he departs for the AFCON in January.

GW20 Outsider: Lucas Moura, Spurs

The fifth most in-form player in the game right now, andowned by 2% of players. 

His team are on the up under a new manager, he keeps getting picked by said new manager, and he’s facing Southampton away next. Spurs have done damage there before…

Your move…

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Written by Niall The Legend Hawthorne

We finally reach the end of this turgid, harrowing, depressing, weird, condensed FPL season.

To those of you who are winning you should know that this season will forever have an Asterix next to it and it doesn’t count.*

To those of you like me who have languished badly all season and the game stopped making sense, you shall inherit the earth. It’s the game that’s wrong, not you.

Roll on GW1 of next season when we’ll have sunshine, fans in stadiums and normality back once more. We’ll have a cracking four team title race, nine teams in relegation trouble all season long, VAR will finally work like it’s supposed to, and Micah Richards will body slam Gary Neville after the laughing finally stops.

Onto GW38!

Defender: Stuart Dallas, Leeds United

Let’s finish the season with the top-scoring defender in the game, eh?

Earlier this season Leeds United walloped The Baggies by five, with Dallas getting an assist, three bonus points and a 12-point haul. With Big Sam departing stage left holding a pint of wine in his right hand and a gravy boat in his left hand, West Brom players will have their minds elsewhere as they frantically try to get a new contract at a Premier League club. If your name is not Pereira, best of luck with that.

Dallas to score, keep a clean sheet and then step out of the shower after the game to reveal that this whole season has just been a dream.

We can hope.

Midfielder: Gareth Bale, Tottenham Hotspur

Gareth Bale has 9 goals, 3 assists and has played over 60 minutes in a game just 9 times this season.

If he could ever be arsed about football again, he’d be amazing.

Alas his head doesn’t seem to be in the game anymore, and after this game nobody has a clue as to where he will end up next season – The Real Madrid bench? The Spurs team? The golf course? Your guess is as good as mine.

However, he didn’t start last week against Villa so I reckon he’s nailed on to start this weekend and may well sign off (possibly) from Spurs once more with a goal or two.

Forward: Sergio Aguero, Manchester City

Choosing who to pick up front this week was impossible!

Firmino is bang in form, playing for a team on a mission, has two goals and an assist against the same opponent from earlier in the season.

Harry Kane wants the golden boot almost as much as he wants to leave Spurs.

Kelechi Iheanacho can’t stop scoring and wants to fire Leicester into the Champions League again.

Chris Wood is the form striker in the league and faces Sheffield United.

Patrick Bamford faces relegated West Brom who he scored 8 points against earlier this season.

They all make compelling cases, but my gut, my head and my heart say it’s time to say farewell to Sergio Aguero by sticking him up front. His last ever Premier League game (unless he fancies partnering Teemu Pukki up front at Carrow Road next season), and we say farewell to a true Premier League legend.

Only Andy Cole, Wayne Rooney and Alan Shearer have scored more than the Argentinian maestro. While Pep will be rotating his team ahead of the European Cup final, this is the perfect opportunity to give Aguero a fully deserved swansong, because barring injury he ain’t starting against Chelsea in Portugal!

The returning City fans could witness the final goal(s) of the Aguero era, and he only needs five to catch Andy Cole….

Just saying.

Captain: Mohamed Salah, Liverpool

The final big call for you to make, and there are some golden rules you should always keep in mind.

Firstly, always pick a player who has something to play for. Secondly, pick a player in form right now. Thirdly, always captain Salah.

With all three boxes ticked, you should captain Mo Salah.

Outsider: Fabio Carvalho, Fulham

Let’s try to squeeze in just one more 0.0% owned point-scoring tip this season, shall we?

Fabio Carvalho has started the last two for Fulham, scoring in one, and faces Newcastle at home, and we all know how rubbish Newcastle are, right? (Yes, I admit they did better than I expected, well done Newcastle fans).

So that’s that. My final preview for another season. Thanks for reading. Thanks for not shouting at me when I was wrong. You could tell me you love me when I’m right, but we can work on that. So, until the website uploads the new players for next season, and we all start working on the first of our 1,274 draft teams, for one last time it’s your move….

*Yes, it counts. Well done. I’m just jealous.

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We need to talk.

It has become apparent to me that the effects of over a year of football without fans, combined with a year of COVID restrictions, has warped our perception of reality, particularly as it relates to the beautiful game.

The following are ‘perceptions’ that I have noted among the media and/or football fans in the past season, which when looked at in the cold light of day are clearly nonsensical, yet have been fervently debated with gusto as we’ve all lost leave of our senses:

• Man City’s win last night was one of the best by an English side away from home in Europe, ever.

• Trent Alexander-Arnold isn’t really all that good and should change position immediately.

• Chelsea are plucky underdogs and are so admirable for punching above their weight this season.

• Frank Lampard was hard done by, should have been given more time.

• All the English clubs that signed up to the Super League should be sold to new, minted, benevolent owners who are queuing up to save the day.

That’s just off the top of my head, too. There are more. We’ve stared at a warped, unreal product for too long, and have started to see and hear things that don’t exist. It’s the footballing equivalent of being thrown in the hole and left in complete darkness and silence for weeks on end. Your mind plays tricks on you, you hear things that aren’t real and see things that don’t exist.

And that, ladies and gents, explains what has happened to my FPL team this season.

Onto GW34!

Written by @NiallHawthorne

Defender: Stuart Dallas, Leeds United

Yes, once more into the breach for the riddle, the puzzle, the enigma that is Stuart Dallas. An easy ‘no-brainer’ game against Sheffield United or Fulham? Two points in each. Nightmare fixtures against City, United or Chelsea? 17 points, 6 points and 6 points respectively. We all benched him for at least one of those too, right?

No longer will he sit on my bench!

A trip to Brighton beckons this week, and the Seagulls have scored just once in their last four games and have blanked in front of goal on three consecutive occasions. This is a no-brainer!

Oh….

Midfielder: James Rodriguez, Everton

J-Rod is now four games back from his latest injury problems and he has returned a goal and an assist in that time.

This week he faces an Aston Villa side who have forgotten how to defend. 14 clean sheets in their first 26 games has now been followed by 0 clean sheets in their last 6 games, conceding 10 goals in that time. I never realised Jack Grealish was such an effective defensive midfielder!

Forward: Sergio Aguero, Manchester City

Once more into the breach, for old times sake.

With Manchester City fresh from THE GREATEST AWAY PERFORMANCE EVER BY AN ENGLISH CLUB (I won’t let this go for not even Hans Christian Andersen has written a fairy tale so outlandish), you can be absolutely certain that Pep Roulette will be in full effect this weekend.

There’s no chance that Sergio Aguero is going to depart Manchester City without banging at least once more, and I reckon he gets the nod this weekend as they face Crystal Palace. City battered the Eagles by four earlier in the season, so this could be a stroll for City.

Captain: Kelechi Iheanacho, Leicester City

If it’s not broken, don’t fix it.

Yet another double-digit haul from Iheanacho last time out to reward those who waited, and waited, and waited for their captain to take to the pitch.

This week he faces Southampton at St. Mary’s on a Friday night. Someone in the Premier League fixtures department has a cruel, wicked sense of humour. Let’s be honest, if it’s raining on Friday night, I half expect the Saints team to assume the foetal position and cry uncontrollably as the memories of their 9-0 annihilation come flooding back.

Outsider: Conor Townsend, West Bromwich Albion

£4.4m and owned by 0.1%.

4 clean sheets in his last 9 games. A guaranteed starter. Facing a Wolves side that are in freefall.

Your move….

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They say that a week is a long time in politics.

Try football.

My preview for GW32 was bemoaning the fact that the week would drag on endlessly for fantasy football fans, and lose all meaning. Little did I know then that football itself would almost lose all meaning in the same week, thanks to the disgusting, greedy, myopic actions of power-hungry, capitalistic vultures that just happen to run many of the biggest and most loved football institutions in Europe.

Thankfully, even the most power-mad oligarchs realise that without the fans, football is nothing, and the pressure that fans all around Europe brought to bear on the owners of their beloved clubs managed to save our game, as daft, weighted and unfair as it is at present.

To the owners of Liverpool, Manchester United, Manchester City, Chelsea, Arsenal (!), Spurs (!!), Real Madrid, Barcelona, Atletico Madrid, Juventus, AC Milan and Inter Milan, congratulations. You have made the intro to the FantasyYIRMA preview section, joining the illustrious list of other luminaries to grace this intro section, like Donald Trump and Boris Johnson. Nice company you’re now keeping.

Onto GW33!

Defender: Trent Alexander-Arnold, Liverpool

Forty points in his last four games which have included a goal, an assist, two clean sheets and outrageously, the maximum bonus points in all four games!

This week he has a Saturday lunchtime appointment against Newcastle United at Anfield. Now I must hold my hands up here and recognise on these pages the form of Newcastle in recent weeks. Just a single defeat in seven league games and two wins on the bounce have seen them ease clear of the relegation zone, and one more win would see them safe this season I reckon.

That won’t happen this weekend though as TAA continues to evolve his new position of RB / CAM in this Liverpool team (if you haven’t spotted that yet, watch this weekend…), so make the necessary budget adjustments and get him in your team.

Midfielder: Mason Greenwood, Manchester United

Here we have a player who is on fire, finally getting regular starts, and mistakenly labelled as a midfielder by the FPL overlords.

Who are we to look gift horses in the mouth?

Three starts in the last four GW’s has featured four goals and an assist in that run. This weekend he’s away to Leeds United, who I’m sure will continue wearing those ‘You’re all just greedy b*stards and we wanted an invite too’ t-shirts that they were chucking out for free at Elland Road last Monday night.

Forward: Ollie Watkins, Aston Villa

Dear Lord (or whatever deity floats your boat),

What have we done to anger you? Why have you forsaken us this week and lumbered us with rubbish forward options?

You have your own son Jesus playing at Wembley and you’ve arranged for Saint Harry of Kane to also take part (while nobbling him the week before, I notice), leaving a veritable drought of forward options for the thirty-third Sunday of Lent (a.k.a. GW33).

You have also smitten the hamstrings of Ings and Lacazette which has made me covet Benteke. That’s the 11th commandment you are tempting me to break! Thou must never covet Benteke!

I have prayed earnestly to you this week (thanks for ending the Super League stuff) and I believe you have sent me a sign. I saw a young man on the street do a trick on a skateboard, and it hit me.

Ollie, indeed.

Amen.

Captain: Kelechi Iheanacho, Leicester City

As this week is a mercifully short four days, time to keep a bit of jeopardy going right to the end by having your Captain play on Monday night.

Seven goals in his last five league starts (I’m writing this ahead of his GW32 fixture, ridiculously) as well as a goal in the FA Cup semi-final. He’s red hot and now faces Crystal Palace.

Leicester City are pushing for a Top 4 place and looking to stay sharp ahead of the FA Cup Final. Crystal Palace are the first team to hit the beach this season as they are safe from relegation, most of their squad are out of contract this summer, their manager is 148 years old and almost certain to finally retire at the end of the season, and basically may not give a fiddlers flute about this game.

Pile on!

Outsider: Willian Jose, Wolverhampton Wanderers

Mr. Jose has finally popped his proverbial goal-scoring cherry in the Premier League and has very little competition up front for Wolves, so may be worth a punt this week as he faces Burnley at Molineux this weekend. Burnley have very quietly landed themselves in a bit of a relegation fight, and there’s always one team that surprisingly drops late in the season.

Your move….

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Gameweek 29 Preview: Bunch of Blankers

Hey!

Hey you!

Yes, I’m talking to you. Don’t skip past this bit and head straight to the ‘Forward’ tip seeking the next Kelechi Iheanacho hat-trick hero, I’m talking to you, like I do every week.

I may have picked up close to 100 new followers on Twitter thanks to my quite frankly outrageous tipping of Iheanacho in GW28 but how many Purple Monkey Dishwasher replies did I get? About five. If you don’t know what the hell I’m talking about, you’re proving my point.

Shame on you all. If you think my FPL tips are good, you should read the life tips I put in here most weeks. You might learn something useful that you can use outside of the Fantasy Football realm.

You’ve stopped reading already, haven’t you? Yeah….

Onto BGW29!

Written by Mr. @NiallHawthorne

Defender: Aaron Cresswell, West Ham United

With just four matches and eight teams to choose from this week, the selection of the top scoring defender in the game is a no-brainer, right?

Someone should ask Gareth Southgate that very same question as he quite inexplicably left young Cresswell out of his latest England squad. Clearly ten clean sheets and ten assists this season is just not good enough. I trust Southgate’s squad picking skills about as much as I trust his penalty taking skills.

Midfielder: Adam Lallana, Brighton & Hove Albion

I’ll tell you what I’ve learned in recent times – if you’re English and have a job in the Premier League, you get a far smoother ride from the media than those not English. Take Graham Potter for example, who, according to media pieces I’ve seen this week, is an amazing manager with an incredible philosophy, despite having Brighton hovering around the drop-zone after just 6 wins in 28 attempts.

This dovetails nicely with the arguments in recent years that English managers don’t get a fair go in the Premier League, and if trusted they’d be just as good as those not from England. Well the bottom six in the Premier League are all managed by Englishmen. Well, they were until Chris Wilder got sacked for having one of the worst Premier League records in a season, ever. A crying shame, by all accounts. Honestly!

One Englishman I do fancy to do the business for us this weekend is Adam Lallana who seems to have some modicum of fitness at last after completing consecutive 90 minutes for just the second time this season. A home game against Newcastle United awaits in a real relegation six-pointer at the AMEX. Whoever wins this one will deserve all the credit.

Boom and indeed Tish.

Forward: Michail Antonio, West Ham United

A very bold decision made by Michail Antonio this week, as he appears to have pledged his international allegiance to Jamaica rather than England.

The only reason this is noteworthy is that he’s now not like Harry Kane who can commit life-threatening tackles with impunity every week. Instead he’s now technically a ‘foreign’ striker and could be defined as a diving, cheating horrid git starting at 3.01pm this Sunday, March 21st.

Not that anyone cares in the FPL world as we don’t care if you’re from Blighty, Bulgaria or the moon, if you’re hauling. After recent goals against Spurs and City, I see no reason why Antonio won’t net against Arsenal.

Captain: Gareth Bale, Tottenham Hotspur

Before you mock and jeer, I have two words in my defence: Kelechi Iheanacho (last time, maybe…)

The thing with Gareth Bale is, he’s spent about three years not being a footballer, so it takes a bit of time to get back into the swing of things, rather than the swing of a golf club.

GW26 – 19 points. Bale is back baby!

GW26 – 2-point blank. Hah! He loves golf more than goals!

GW27 – 14 points. Could it be? Is it really him?

GW28 – 1 point. Hauled off before the hour. Useless. He’s a busted flush!

Or, and hear me out here, he could be building back up his fitness and relearning what it is to be a relentless FPL point-scoring machine, which he used to be. So BGW29 is against Villa on Sunday night, and another double-digit haul is coming.

Outsider: Dwight Gayle, Newcastle United

The emergence of Dwight Gayle each football season can be synchronised with the emergence of the Spring season. The birds are chirping, the grass is growing again, and Dwight Gayle starts to fancy it once more.

Your move….

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Fantasy Football Preview: Purple Monkey Dishwasher

Mar 11

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Every week I put quite a lot of thought into my pre-tip preamble, and I’ve been made aware that there’s a chance nobody reads what I say here. Written by @NiallHawthorne As is the way of the modern world, my tips are simply sought, consumed and digested, with nary a thought for the nuanced, thought-provoking […]

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