As we reach the end of the longest double game week in the history of the human race, we head into another double game week where eight teams are supposed to play twice.
I say supposed to as there’s a chance one or two of them might have gone to the Ally Pally to watch the snooker, and therefore be struck down by a mysterious global pandemic virus. Y’know, like a certain other midlands football club I won’t mention.
GW22 Defender: Fernando Marcal, Wolves
There’s something almost mystical or mythical about Wolves this year. They’re playing the season in virtual binary code. 0-0. 0-1. 1-0. That’s been the score in 12 of their 19 games this season. They’ve scored 14 goals in 19 games. They’ve conceded 14 goals in 19 games. Their goal difference is 0, because of course it is.
But it’s not only the scores, it’s the number of times that they come out on the right side of them. They’re 8th. EIGHTH! Three points behind Manchester United!
I adore their defence. It’s no nonsense, simple and beautiful. It changes, but that doesn’t make a difference. Marcal came in three games ago after being absent for eight games and has since picked up three clean sheets against Brighton, Chelsea and Manchester United. That’s almost absurd.
So, you should pick him.
GW22 Midfielder: Diogo Jota, Liverpool
Out of position midfielder playing up front with 10 goals and 2 assists from 17 starts, at home to a Brentford side who have forgotten what a clean sheet is.
Let’s now overthink this, shall we?
GW22 Forward: Dominic Calvert-Lewin, Everton
I know he bottled a spotter on his first start back, but that can be forgiven if you haven’t brought him in yet. Heh.
It’s Norwich City, away. And his fixtures look glorious. Norwich, Newcastle and Leeds are three of the next four.
Early mover advantage is yours for the taking, like those weirdos who bought Bitcoin in 2014 or something.
GW22 Captain: Mo Salah, Liverpool (or is it?)
The stats speak for themselves once more. The man is on fire. The man is a genius. The man is…in Africa?
I mean, I suppose I should pick a player from a double game week team, but none of those players fill me with confidence. Except for one…
Newcastle and Burnley?
After 8 goals, 6 assists and 16 bonus points in 16 starts?
Oh, come on now, you’re making this too easy! Emmanuel Dennis, come on down!
GW22 Outsider: Jay Rodriguez, Burnley
With Chris Wood being transferred to Saudi Arabia United (delete as appropriate), and with Ashley Austrian-apparently Barnes crocked, and with Matej Vydra feeling a bit ‘ill’, then Burnley don’t have many options but to start Jay ‘Jay’ Rodriguez in both games this week.
In fairness, he’ll be facing Leicester City and Watford, who have two of the leakiest defences in the league, so at least there’s that.
Oh, and 0.6% ownership, £5.2m cost and the faint distant memory of that season where he scored 15 league goals for Southampton. It happened; I swear! (Oh, and he scored in the cup last weekend…as Burnley got knocked out. *ahem*)