Fantasy Premier League: Gameweek 24 Review
Written by @NiallHawthorne
‘The best form of defence is attack’ as the old adage goes.
Poppycock!
The best form of attack is defence, and I can prove it. Gameweek 24 saw 10 players score double-digit scores, and five of them are defenders. Indeed a back five of Moses, Monreal, Mawson, Fernandez and Koscielny would have yielded you 69 points and Salvation from your wretched season (as well as a visit from the local psychiatric hospital asking if you’d like a ‘check up’). Indeed this may be Just My Imagination but there are four people on this planet who revealed themselves to be time-travellers from the future this weekend. Yes, four souls from an unspecified future date (probably no more than three weeks from next Thursday the way Trump is going…) decided that Victor Moses was worthy of the Triple-Captain chip for his trip to Brighton on Saturday lunchtime.
Who does that? Who in their right mind thinks THAT is a good plan? I’ll tell you who – those who KNOW it’s a good plan. Those who KNOW what is going to happen. Time-travellers with 51 points for Moses and about £250,000 on the Patriots to beat the Eagles 37-32 in a couple of weeks time *taps nose*.
It’s what Dreams are made of.
Of course you’d also have to know the future to have stuck two Swansea defenders in your team as Liverpool came knocking with Salah do-de-do-do-do-do, Mane, Mane do-de-do-do-do-do, Bobby Firmiiiiinooooo but without Coutinho…Yet who am I to judge? We’re all Free To Decide and thus Fernandez and Mawson combined to maximum effect and end the 18-game unbeaten run of Jurgen’s men. It just goes to prove that there’s no such thing as Ridiculous Thoughts.
It was slightly easier for everyone to work out that Sergio Aguero was likely to run riot against a Newcastle side that he just can’t help mauling every time he faces them. Maybe he was a lion in a past life and he just sees a helpless yet tasty zebra when he plays them, unable to contain his Animal Instinct. All I know is that less than 1 in 4 own him, which is yet more proof that the human race have lost their collective minds in the 21st century. I blame Apple.
Perhaps the most impressive performer this week is Nacho Monreal who scored 16 points thanks to a goal, two assists and three bonus points despite deciding not to Linger and only playing the first 33 minutes of the match. I’ve spoken to NASA boffins who have analysed the rest of the game following his departure and they confirm that had he hung around he’d have scored 83 points by full-time. Remarkable.
Eden Hazard has once more presented FPL players with a mind-bending conundrum, namely do they now/once more (delete as applicable) shoehorn him into their sides. His 16 point haul in GW 24 follows on from his 10 point haul in GW 22, which shows some form…but we’ve been here before. GW’s 10,12,13 & 15 saw scores of 11,18,8 & 15, but they were followed by a total of 17 points in the next 6 GW’s. Trying to work out what he’s going to do next is keeping me awake at night, and now I’m like a Zombie trying to work out what to do.
Finally kudos to Willian, The Lord Joe Allen and Tony Martial for their hauls this week, all of them proving themselves to be Stars in GW 24. Willian surely must be prime for a settled run in the Chelsea first XI following a stellar performance alongside Hazard and Batshuayi (stop giggling). The Lord Joe Allen decided that GW 24 is when the resurrection of Stoke City’s season should start. Incidentally I thought it was a jolly good show from Paul Lambert to dress like and jump around like Martin O’Neill of 10 years ago. To be so comfortable in your own skin that you dedicate your first game in charge to a man who didn’t want the job you so desperately took, that takes some cajones. He was Free To Decide to wear a suit and re-invent himself, but maybe I shouldn’t Analyse things too much.
As is traditional, we move onto our Villains Of The Week, but in fairness they’re in short supply as all three players in negative points territory are from Brighton & Hove Albion FC. Congratulations to Messers Duffy, Goldson and Schelotto, the last of which should consider himself incredibly unlucky with his score of -1. He could/should easily have had two penalty assists as well as a goal for his efforts, but alas Jon Moss can see that Time Is Ticking Out for Antonio Conte so he turned a blind eye to all penalty claims from the Seagulls.
That’s it for another week. Thanks for reading, it really means a lot. It’s so lonely When You’re Gone.
RIP Dolores x
Written by Niall Hawthorne.
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Niall Hawthorne has a strange view on most things.
Check out his blog for proof rantsofarebel.wordpress.com.
You can read more from him also on twitter at @NiallHawthorne
His views are his own, because quite simply nobody else would have them!
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