Gameweek 2: Preview – Written by @NiallHawthorne
With GW1 firmly behind us, the FPL community is split into three camps:
- 1. Those who are happy. They’re the smug gits who haven’t stopped telling you about how well they did last week. You all know one, and if you don’t, you are one.
- 2. Those who are frustrated. They did alright, around average points, probably subbed / changed one of the star players in GW 1 on Friday afternoon. Hard luck but for the love of all that is holy, PLEASE STOP BANGING ON ABOUT IT.
- 3. Those who hate this game with the intensity of a thousand suns going supernova. Their scores look like a mic check at a gig: 2, 1, 2, 2, 1, 1, 2, Testing, This game is really bloody testing.
Click Play below as our very own @FantasyYIRMA breaks out in song with his cover of Alright by Supergrass – Obviously with an FPL twist – 3 minutes of your life you are never getting back!
I’ve conducted an intensive poll since last week, and found that 99.99% of players in each category also align neatly with the ‘Wan-Bissaka’ conundrum. Those who are happy have played him, those who are frustrated had him on their bench, and those who hate the game had never heard of him before Saturday. I’m not saying that the young Palace full-back is the talk of the town, but one man went on Mastermind on Monday night and answered 17 consecutive answers by saying ‘Wan-Bissaka’. He won, because the answer is always ‘Wan-Bissaka’.
Defender: Ben Davies, Tottenham Hotspur
There are many things going wrong in the world at the moment. War, Famine, Trump, Brexit and perhaps the most alarming of all is the ever-increasing number of people who are homeless today. This is a scandal that affects people from all walks of life. Many of us are just a paycheque or two from finding ourselves in a position where we too could be ‘one of them’, so none of us should ever look down our noses at those unfortunate enough to find themselves homeless and needing help.
I mean it when I say it could happen to anyone. Even with all the billions of pounds sloshing around in the Premier League, Tottenham Hotspur Football Club have found themselves homeless. They’re currently squatting in Wembley Stadium while they arrange a more permanent solution elsewhere in London, but even this arrangement may not be suitable. On October 28th the NFL come to town and are moving into…Wembley Stadium. On that same day Spurs are due to host Manchester City, and at the moment that can only be played in…Wembley Stadium. I see a ‘Spurs-Aid’ type concert in the near future for the poor guys. Anyway, I digress…
Ben Davies was the only one of the Spurs back four not to get a goal or an assist last week at Newcastle, so he’s going to be gunning to even the score this week at home to Fulham. A clean sheet looks like being a distinct possibility, the likelihood of rotation is remote, he has an ownership of under 10% at time of typing and he gets forward…a lot. Last season he had 2 goals, 7 assists, 12 clean sheets and 14 BPs. Don’t fall into the trap of reading GW 1 scores as a trend for the future, and get Davies into your team.
Midfielder: Bernardo Silva, Manchester City
Ed: KDB reported to have suffered knee injury in training – currently assessing but could be month or two if serious.
‘The Other’ Silva impressed in pre-season and was lauded by Pep following the Charity Shield (It will always be the Charity Shield for me and in light of what’s happening in the UK at present I predict that it will cease to be the ‘Community’ Shield and will revert back to the ‘Charity’ Shield by the start of next season). He then scored with a peach of a finish away to Arsenal to wrap up the points and surely cement his place in ‘rotation-land’ for a few more games at least, particularly since ‘The Real’ Silva wasn’t involved in the squad at The Emirates.
At £7.5m, and again with an ownership under 10% at time of typing, one glance at his next few fixtures results in an obscene amount of drool and a hint of an erection: Home games to Huddersfield, Newcastle and Fulham in 3 of the next 4 weeks. Bernardo could be a secret weapon in maintaining/increasing your mini-league lead in the early weeks.
And yes, I am fully aware that I’m contradicting the last line of my defender feature right here. I’m comfortable with it.
Forward: Cenk Tosun, Everton
While a certain Brazilian stole the show at Molineux last weekend, a certain Turkish international threw in a sneaky assist in a team, based on GW1 at least, that seems certain to be of the attacking variety for the coming season. Cenk scored 5 goals and amassed 9 BPs in the second half of last season while playing in one of the most stupefying, torpid, morose teams in recent history (how we miss you Big Sam), so in an attacking outfit with the likes of Richarlison around him, the potential is huge.
Once again at £7.0m, an ownership of under 10% and home games against Southampton, Huddersfield and West Ham in three of the next four games, I now sound like Del Boy Trotter at his market stall. ‘Alright my darling! Get your noggin’ around this peachy bargain me auld son. Finest Turkish craftsmanship in the land. It’s not a deal. It’s not a steal. It’s the sale of the century me auld china. No he’s Turkish, he’s not Chinese. It’s just an expression’.
Captain: Sergio Aguero, Manchester City
Home to Huddersfield in this side. He could score five. The biggest risk is Pep himself but he’s going to give Kun another start, right? RIGHT?
If you do follow this advice, then please consider your Vice Captain choice carefully. Caveat Emptor and all that. (If you don’t know what Caveat Emptor is, it’s a fine Italian sparkling wine that you can drown your sorrows with if it all goes Pete Tong. Ask for it in your local Tesco).
Outsider: James Maddison, Leicester City
There are rumours flying around that Claude Puel’s current employment status hangs by a mere thread, which is total madness but not surprising in the madcap environment of the Premier League. I must say it seems even more bizarre after their performance at Old Trafford last Friday night. I thought they looked several shades of class, pinging the ball around with ease, full-backs bombing on, wingers being wingers, and a real contrast to the Leicester City of a couple of seasons ago who ceded possession and hit on the counter-attack. This team covets the ball and looks to use it, and they were as attractive as Ryan Reynolds. In fairness they were playing a team who were as attractive with the ball as Donald Trump, so maybe the comparison flattered them a little.
In any case young James Maddison caught the eye in particular. Comfortable in possession, constantly probing and playing in an incredibly advanced position considering they were away to Manchester United. With a home game against Wolves this weekend, and an ownership of just 1% at time of typing, he could well be worth a roll of the dice this weekend.
Draft: Pedro, Chelsea
There was a bit of doubt surrounding the future status of Pedro and Cecil Fibreglass (sorry, Cesc Fabregas) in the starting Chelsea XI under Sarri, but GW1 may have given us a glimpse of the future, at least until Morata gets dropped, sold or goes home crying. Pedro was given the nod and was instrumental in the first goal and scored the third. He could well thrive under the new Chelsea manager and deserves your draft pick for his luxuriant hair alone. It’s so thick it looks like a helmet.
Written by Niall Hawthorne.
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