The Gameweek 31+ Preview
Written by @NiallHawthorne
This is getting silly now.
I’m writing the GW31+ preview before the end of GW30+ which only ends 20 hours before GW31+ begins which itself will end a mere 38 hours before the start of GW32+. Oh, and there’s a round of FA Cup action in the midst of all that too!
Feast or Famine?
Time to fatten up!
GW31+ Defender: Matt Ritchie, Newcastle United
I’m the first to admit when I am wrong, and I was wrong about Steve Bruce at Newcastle United. I was certain that this was a marriage made in hell, and that the Geordies were doomed with the footballing crime thriller author at the helm.
However, here we are on June 22nd and Steve Bruce is level on points with Carlo Ancelotti. Yes, you read that right. Newcastle United under the leadership of Steve Bruce and Mike ‘Scrooge McDuck’ Ashley are level with one of Europe’s greatest managers of the last 25 years financed by Farhad ‘Bling Bling’ Moshiri.
And here’s another stat to blow your socks off. Newcastle United have five clean sheets in their last eight matches, including three on the spin. I’ll give you a second to recover from the shock.
So, then you notice that FPL have decided that a man who has made a career of terrorising fullbacks and pinging in crosses has been categorised as a defender. It’s like FPL deciding that next season Ryan Fraser will be a defender for Arsenal. It’s just weird.
As my granny used to say, ‘Never look a gift horse in the mouth, or shove your arm up its bum’. Which means you should get Ritchie into your squad immediately. Only 0.3% of players have done it so far.
GW31+ Midfielder: Bruno Miguel Borges Fernandes, Manchester United
- Six league appearances.
- Three goals.
- Three assists.
- Eight bonus points.
- 47 FPL points, averaging 7.833333333 points per game.
He faces the first team in history to be suffering from ‘second season syndrome’ in their first season, who just got a shellacking from Newcastle United. He’s on penalties. He’s got Pogba alongside him. He’s got beautiful fixtures for the remainder of the season. And he’s got 81.1% of FPL players who don’t own him. Most people are idiots.
GW31+ Forward: Raul Jimenez, Wolverhampton Wanderers
Tough decision for this position this week.
I like the look of Ings at home to Arsenal (FantasyYIRMA called me a b*stard for pointing out the logic of this…) (ED: True Story)
I like the look of Calvert-Lewin away at Norwich City.
I like the look of Harry Kane at home to West Ham, although that’s more about West Ham than it is about Harry Kane.
However, I’ve plumped for the man who has the most points out of all four strikers mentioned here thanks to 14 goals, 6 assists and 25 bonus points. He’s got an unstoppable bodybuilder/sprinter pinging crosses at him, and plays for a club on an upward trajectory matched only by COVID19 cases in Florida.
Mind you, if your FPL front-line had three of these in it this weekend, you wouldn’t be going wrong.
GW31+ Captain: Mohamed Salah, Liverpool
At time of typing, Liverpool require five points to reach the promised land, and it’s positively biblical that they’ve been led there by an Egyptian King.
The games second highest points scorer will make his return to action at home to Crystal Palace. This will be a tricky game for Liverpool as Palace are playing without fear as they are safe, above Arsenal (stop giggling) and have nothing to lose.
This game finished 4-3 to Liverpool 18 months ago and Salah scored twice. Everybody knows that this Klopp team are a ‘rhythm’ team, and after blowing away some cobwebs across Stanley Park against Everton, I expect them to hit their stride and clip the Eagles wings.
(RIP Kayla. Seeing your beloved Palace in the top half may well have been the cause of your heart attack, but I hope you soar in Eagle Heaven)
GW31+ Outsider: Aymeric Laporte, Manchester City
I don’t see many teams laying many gloves on City for the rest of the season, thanks to the return of the imperious Laporte. He’s the glue that holds the City defence together. Now he’s back from injury he’s only owned by 3.4% of players, so snap up your differential while you can.
GW31+ Draft: Emiliano Martinez, Arsenal
With Bernd ‘Jay’ Leno crocked, Martinez has the gloves for the remainder of the season. They had three clean sheets in four games before lockdown y’know. With Luiz out of the picture, there’s a chance this could be a shrewd move.
Written by Niall Hawthorne.
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Niall Hawthorne has a strange view on most things.
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