The Gameweek 34+ Preview

Written by Niall Hawthorne.

I’ll be honest with you, I’m communicating with regular readers of this column more than with my own family over the last few weeks, such is the sheer enormity of the FPL tidal wave that has roared towards us.

Fear not however, we have you covered.

Fresh from tipping returns from players with ownership of 0.3% and 0.4% for GW+33, here are pearls of wisdom for GW+34.

GW34+ Defender: Cesar Azpilicueta, Chelsea

While Chelsea clean sheets have been in short supply since the restart, Cesar Azpilicueta has decided that he’d like to reinvent himself as Trent Alexander-Arnold, and has banked three assists in the last four GW’s.

This week Chelsea travel across London to Selhurst Park to visit a team that have built their own airbridge and shagged off on holidays early. Rumours that Roy Hodgson was seen sipping Aperol Spritz with Stanley Johnson in Greece cannot be confirmed nor denied.

What cannot be denied however is that Palace are safe, have nothing to play for, and it’s starting to show. Three defeats in a row, none scored and eight shipped. That’s what happens when you play in flip-flops.

Chelsea need points. Clean sheet away win and a chance for ‘Dave’ to keep up his TAA impression for a bit longer.

GW34+ Midfielder: Bruno Fernandes, Manchester United

Look, if you’re looking for more points from players with under 1% ownership, then you’ll have to pay me, alright?

I’m no fool, and you’d have to be a fool to not have this lad in your team. Whether this form will continue into next season remains to be seen, but when a player is hot, you must have him. Which makes it all the more perplexing that 75% of FPL players do not.

As with Brexit voters and Trump supporters, leave them be, reality will eventually bite. For those of us with sense, the Fernandes train is picking up speed, and we’re all aboard.

GW34+ Forward: Harry Kane, Tottenham Hotspur

Sometimes you’re not so much picking the player, as picking on the opponent.

Bournemouth are a shambles. Dropping like a stone. Doomed, I tell thee.

Spurs and Harry Kane take a trip to the seaside in July and I reckon they’re going to forego all thoughts of social distancing as they pile forward into the Bournemouth penalty area to recreate those scenes on Bournemouth beach last week.

You’ll have more FPL points than COVID-19 cases on Thursday evening.

o

GW34+ Captain: Kevin De Bruyne, Manchester City

Imagine Liverpool had nicked the title last season by a point. Then splurged over £100,000,000 on new players, lost nine games out of 33 and trailed their biggest rivals by 23 points. How do you reckon the press would be treating Jurgen Klopp? Aye.

After their frankly hilarious defeat at Southampton (their 3rd away defeat on the trot) it’s time for home comforts for City. While Newcastle are unlikely to turn up swigging Buckfast (I’m looking at you Andy Robertson), they’re safe, and may not be as switched on as required against what is sure to be a City backlash.

KDB was left on the bench at St. Mary’s, so even though I’m going back on my own vow to never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, no matter what, come what may, never again, ever, ever, ever pick a City player again, here we are. I feel dirty and desperate. That’s FPL life for you.

GW34+ Outsider: Ismaila Sarr, Watford

Like the Kane tip v Bournemouth, anybody playing Norwich needs serious consideration.

Watford know this is in the ‘MUST WIN’ category of games left on their run-in, they’re at home and they’ll be looking at those who have shown some form this season to step up.

Sarr has 5 goals and 4 assists thus far this season, and with an ownership of under 2% could be a real differential for you this week.

Written by Niall Hawthorne.

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Niall Hawthorne has a strange view on most things.

Check out his blog for proof rantsofarebel.wordpress.com.