Putting my “big coat” on, a discussion with the wife whether it’s time to turn the heating on, browsing soup recipes, the sky going black at 4pm, Summer is finally over isn’t it?
But the football season has just begin and the beautiful side of Covid (if at all) is that fixtures are no longer on-top of one another – we get stacked match after match of Premier League football which, until now has reaped a hell of a lot of goals, controversy and chaos.
With that, let’s review GW3 – More of the same please!
Brighton 2-3 Man United
What should we call the period of the game AFTER Fergie Time? Ole’s Moment? United’s Minute? All suffice, all share the same ludicrous meaning. Brighton in all honesty, robbed of a point at the Amex on Saturday as Man United somehow overcame all odds to steal 3 points.
Maupay opened the game with a cocky Panenka penalty to which he then went on to celebrate by fake-crying. (Needless to say…Ole had the last laugh). Slab-head then popped in a scruffy goal to tie the game 3 minutes later (given as a Dunk OG), followed by dull textbook United football. In the second half when Rashford took on the entire Brighton defence to slot in what we all thought was the winner.
A 90-minute equalizer from Solly March broke United’s little red hearts (including mine). Done and dusted, right? Quick ping up the field by United and there’s a corner! Last minute of the game, we’re over the allocated extra time now. Ball comes in…. Maguire heads it, goes wide, ref blows full time. Good effort lads – exchange sweaty tops and get off the pitch. Oh, wait, what? VAR wants to check a potential handball post-full-time whistle (fantastically, it was cry baby Maupay with the handball).
Penalty (Bruno). Goal. United win. What is football anymore?!
Bruno with an assist & goal (he also gave away the penalty), Rashford looking sharp and a very quiet outing from Martial – plenty of pondering for FPL managers!
Crystal Palace 1-2 Everton
Who’s NOT on board the DCL Express? 6, 17 and now 8 FPL points is better form than Donald Trumps banter. Not far behind (a slightly smaller, less occupied train) is Richarlison, who appears to also be on penalty duty bagged a goal plus all 3 bonus points.
T’was a game where, sure, Palace scored through a Kouyate header, but was very much another star performance from a still unbeaten Everton side who in 2 GW’s time will face Liverpool. Did somebody say Hulk Hogan vs Andre the Giant?!
Despite 8 shots from Palace, only the goal was on target, Zaha was extremely quiet (likely pissed that his recent performances haven’t enticed the “bigger” clubs to come-a-knockin’). Townsend (just £6m) is in form with 2 assists and a goal so far this season for the Palace no.10.
Strikers aside, the midfield was quiet including heavily invested in Rodriguez. Coleman & Digne looked sharp and up for some attacking returns – Ancelotti still has not smiled, not once.
West Brom 3-3 Chelsea
We were so close to all laughing in unison at Lampard weren’t we – So. Close.
West Brom went full Golden State Warriors as they blew a 3-0 lead with only half of the game remaining. Other losers I could’ve chosen for that reference were the 1942 Detroit Red Wings, 2004 New York Yankees or the 2003 Leicester squad who lost 4-3 to Wolves after leading 3-0 at half time (which included 2 goals from Les Ferdinand).
Callum Robinson whom in FPL convinces absolutely nobody scored 2 goals, followed by a Bartley banger to raise the fake crowd roof off the Hawthorns. Spirits couldn’t have been higher for Bilic and the lads at half time.
Lampard’s lot took little time to demoralize the West Brom squad with a quick goal to pull one back, then it was 45 mins of pure Chelsea pressure. Hudson-Odoi scored in the 70th but it just wasn’t Chelsea’s day to break through anymore until the 93rd minute when Tammy tapped in at the back post. Bilic was likely livid, we couldn’t see his expression behind his gloriously soft looking beard.
Times are tough for Werner owners though. His cup goal vs Tottenham won’t do much to convince you to hold – annoying, right? On the plus side, Mason Mount looks pretty sweet at a tidy price (you heard it here first! Niall feel free to quote me).
Burnley 0-1 Southampton
Danny Ings scored (standard) then, well literally…nothing happened?
Was this the easiest game review, ever?
Burnley 2 shots on target, Southampton 1.
Do you own Danny Ings in FPL? Yes…Well done! No? Maybe think about it ok? Let’s move on…
Sheffield United 0-1 Leeds
You know that part in Liar Liar when Carrey spits out the water and shouts “oh, come on!” Yeah, insert that gif here (in your minds).
Another 1-0 match with very little to talk about. Leeds were very much the dominant team here, Sheffield just a mere flimsy shell of last season’s. Leeds really don’t have to worry about relegation this year in my humble opinion – they look up for the fight, regardless of gaps within the squad. Bamford on the scoresheet once again bringing it to a goal every match so far for the lad who (apparently) rejected a football scholarship to study Business at Harvard University over in the states to pursue his football career. Another weird nugget for you – his is related to the founder of JCB (the big yellow diggers) Anthony Bamford who if you ever wanted to Google him has a very delightfully round face.
I digress…Sheffield look naff. Leeds, fun! In FPL aside from Bamford can I suggest anyone with real intent – no, not really.
Liar Liar is still a fantastic movie isn’t it (rhetorical).
Tottenham 1-1 Newcastle
FPL world last week – “QUICK, get Son AND Kane!! Do it! DO IT!”
FPL world this week – “QUICK, get rid of Son!” We’re a silly bunch, us lot aren’t we.
Fresh from whooping Southampton 5-2 the week prior, spirits (and Harry Kane’s quiff) was high. Maybe more so for 92 minutes of the game they dominated (23 shots, 12 on target) until happy clappy Mike Ashley’s lads somehow were awarded a penalty for a handball is ridiculous circumstance which the footballing world over has discussed at length afterwards.
Yes, by the letter of the law, penalty. Rule changes in force, it was, hands down (excuse the brilliant pun) clearly a pen which Wilson slotted away in the dying seconds of the match to end it 1-1.
Mourinho wandered down the tunnel (likely for a quick dump) as Spurs drop the deuce points (cracking pun *taps own shoulders*). Worrying times for a Tottenham side now with only one recognized goalscorer in Kane with Son out injured during this match. Alli is still yet to feature and the transfer window will be shutting soon! Gareth Bale can’t come soon enough (lol, injured).
Newcastle despite a point, were dreadful.
Man City 2-5 Leicester
Who’d have thought it? Right? You love to see it, you really do.
Pep looked absolutely puzzled with what he was witnessing, as Jamie Vardy’s hattrick stunned the Emptihad into an even more silent silence than it’s ever experienced – I thought I was watching without fake crowd noise until I realised that I was indeed still watching on Sky Sports (Ultra HD, obvs).
All started so well and smug for Pep as Mahrez scored a belter after 4 minutes. It wasn’t until the 37th that Leicester scored a penalty and things turned in the Foxes favour. Cue 45 mins of Leicester dominance over a City side missing a spark in attack. Sure they’ve spent a ridiculous amount on defenders but that really didn’t show in this game.
Leicester (importantly Vardy) looked very very good. In FPL I still wouldn’t look past Justin & Vardy, on the City side it’s the Pep roulette we’re all worried about. Mahrez and Ake scoring in this one, the “big guns” firing blanks.
West Ham 4-0 Wolves
Speaking of firing blanks, Wolves now who surprised the lot of us by not bothering – at all – against a defiant West Ham squad who easily won the game in both halves.
Wolves had 2 shots on target, Jiminez was surrounded all game and the ever-present Traore actually, wasn’t. Made worse in that Jiminez was awarded an OG for one of the Hammers 4.
Portugal, sorry, Wolves have now lost 2 and won 1. Nothing to panic about just yet, fixtures are most definitely in their favour, but be cautious on loading up on them without them yet to find their feet.
The Moyes Boys, hey? First win of the season, and a cracking one at that. Bowen with a brace and Haller with a token 93rd minute goal. I can’t imagine for the life of me why anyone would have any Hammers players in your FPL teams (maybe just Soucek on value alone?) but even this 4-0 victory won’t be convincing me to invest. David Moyes…For that reason, I am out.
Fulham 0-3 Aston Villa
3 games, 3 losses, only 3 goals scored, losing 3-0 for the 2nd time…Fulham are a bit crap. Weirdly I still actually have Mitrovic in my FPL side as I do think if they’re ever going to score a goal it’ll be him involved if he hasn’t already been given a red card for “thuggery”.
Villa now surprisingly with 2 wins in 2 (4th in the Prem even after less games that those around them) and looking pretty darn chuffed with themselves – Grealish actually quite smug. Speaking of Jack, he nailed the first goal and looked impressive, as did McGinn with 2 assists to his name in this one. Conor Hourihane which is a fun name to say, scored and assisted to take home all 3 bonus points, but isn’t a regular starter for Deano Smith so we wait and see my FPL chums.
Fulham did have more shots, and possession, oh and passes, corners, fouls, etc….But this is the reason stats don’t always tell the right story. Villa looked the better side, always in control (and had VAR on their side for one moment). If you have Mitrovic (like me), with Wolves and Sheffield up next he’ll have his moments – hold, hold my friends.
Liverpool 3-1 Arsenal
And finally, Liverpool win. What a shocker. Getting a bit boring now this isn’t it Ryan? Shall we stop reviewing Liverpool matches?
Literally every FPL asset had a little go this GW. Salah with an assist, Mane with a goal, Robertson scored whilst Trent assisted another. Oh and that tiny chap Jota scored, but none of you have him anyway.
For Arsenal it was yet again Lacazette, proving once again that he SHOULD be the main talisman at the Gunners but will always be outpicked by Arteta, by us FPL lot, by the fans, with Aubameyang. Who actually didn’t do much this game and played extremely wide.
The game was always Liverpool’s, they are beaming with confidence even without any new signings on the pitch (Thiago confirmed to have Covid pre-match). VERY tough to see past Liverpool winning the title once again – they have some tough tests ahead of them but I am sure the odds are ever in their favour – as are the short term fixtures. Invest away FPL managers, grab these lot whilst you can still afford them!
FPL GW3 Review
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Jack is an “alternative FPL writer” (Who knew, right?) looking for hidden tales behind the most obscure players, dark humour in the game and the creative storytelling to the most mundane of GameWeeks!He’s played the official game for over 7 years, running leagues throughout the offices of his day job.