Fantasy Football Preview: Gameweek 14
Written by @NiallHawthorne
Did you hear the one about the FPL player who looked at his squad ahead of GW13 and was faced with quite a few ‘him or him’ decisions, so decided that there would be no better time for a Bench Boost chip to be activated?
He then spent three days sobbing into his whiskey as Ryan, Balbuena, Mahrez and Konsa all ‘unexpectedly’ missed GW13 action completely, and the (in fairness to him) superb bench scores from Neto and Mee would have been automatically transferred into his team.
This heart-warming tale of FPL misery at Xmas is brought to you by me, and is a lesson that no matter how bad you think your season is going, there’s always someone out there making far dafter decisions than you.
I think that’s a lovely message to all our readers in the last column before Christmas. The next time you read my words of wisdom you’ll be sat in your pyjamas / underwear / buff wiping mince pie crumbs off you and wondering if Kevin De Bruyne had too much turkey ahead of GW15.
Merry Christmas you filthy animals! On to GW14!
Defender: Ben Mee, Burnley
The aforementioned Ben Mee has played every minute of Premier League action since his return from injury in GW8, which is 6 matches ago for those of you who are hard of thinking.
In those 6 games, he has 4 clean sheets.
He is owned by 0.2% of players, which includes me since GW8.
You’re all doing this game wrong!
Anyway, he faces Wolves this weekend and while they hilariously snatched all three points from Chelsea in midweek, they are struggling without their talismanic forward man. Turf Moor is no place to be without your talisman.
Midfielder: Marcus Rashford, Manchester United
Isn’t it amazing that over a month of every year is devoted entirely to the story of a Saint who makes sure that children are well looked after during the bleak mid-winter? It’s a tale of a fat man, kindness of others and is really a story of joy.
But enough about Marcus Rashford forcing Boris Johnson into not being a monster for five minutes, we’re here to talk FPL.
Rashford has hit form in the last four weeks with three goals and an assist to his name. This weekend he faces the thoroughly entertaining Leeds United at Old Trafford. The reason that Leeds are entertaining is because goals seem to be guaranteed at both ends of the pitch.
Under £10m and ownership under 8%? Merry Christmas indeed. God bless us all, but especially Marcus Rashford.
Forward: Harry Kane, Tottenham Hotspur
I was attracted by Callum Wilson this week (well, have you seen those cheekbones?) but I think that Fulham have solidified a bit at the back. There’s a sentence that seems designed to come back and bite me in the arse, don’t you think?
So, I’ve plumped for Harry Kane as he faces Leicester City at home. Vardy has kept the Foxes party going this season, but their defence has been leakier than a Tory Cabinet meeting all season long. Just four clean sheets thus far, and when they do concede, more often than not they concede more than once.
The Kane and Son partnership is now bordering on the daft, such is its effectiveness, and I see no reason why they won’t link up again this weekend.
Captain: Mohamed Salah, Liverpool
Such has been Salah’s brilliance in recent seasons that his continued brilliance has been somewhat normalised. However, that’s why you have me to open your eyes…
Since Van Dijk got crocked, Alisson got crocked, Gomez got crocked, Trent got crocked and Jurgen Klopp had to play children in defence, Mo Salah has decided that it’s his responsibility to drag Liverpool to another league title.
Since GW7 he has made 6 appearances, scored 5 goals, 2 assists (he does pass the ball y’know) and has 7 bonus points from four of those games. All of this while his buddy Sadio Mane has gone through his own drought.
This man is a machine, an all-time Premier League great.
This week he’s visiting Selhurst Park, where he has netted before.
Respect the name. Stick the armband on him while you’re at it.
Outsider: Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, Liverpool
Who wants a 0% owned tip for Christmas? Ho! Ho! Ho!
As Liverpool are playing just 25 minutes (or 60 odd hours, whatever) since they beat Spurs, which we know drives Jurgen bananas, you can expect some rotation at Selhurst Park.
Naby Keita is also a punt, but he’s not owned by ZERO PERCENT of FPL players.
Ox normally hits the ground running, and could be the ultimate differential for you this weekend.
Written by Niall Hawthorne.
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Niall Hawthorne has a strange view on most things.
Check out his blog for proof rantsofarebel.wordpress.com
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