Sergio Aguero, Dodgy Assists and Nipple Tweaking Celebratory Shame

Fantasy Premier League: Gameweek 27 Review

Written by @NiallHawthorne

This game mocks us all.


Gameweek 27 will be remembered in FPL seasons to come as the week when most mini-leagues swung decisively, one way or t’other. While the average score for the week was 61 points (2nd highest this season behind the 62 point average in GW 20, stat fans!), there are many, many FPL Players who flirted with, reached or even smashed the 100 point barrier this week. It’s not hard to spot them, even if they’re not in your league or you don’t know them personally. They’re currently strutting around, tops off, tweaking their nipples (male and female players) with a grin as wide as the Thames, asking all in earshot “How was YOUR GW 27?”. I’m delighted for them, I really am. The smug B*STARDS.

Of course the majority of them have a certain Argentinian pocket rocket to thank for their chafed nipples as Sergio Aguero did what Sergio Aguero tends to do at least once a season – score more than three goals in a game. His 21 point haul leads the way this week. If you’re like me and have Aguero but didn’t put the armband on him, I understand what you’re feeling right now, I really do. After all, just 3 in 10 players have him in their squad. He’s actually a hell of a differential, especially when he scores 4 goals. I mean, Salah has over 1 in 2 owning him. It’s obvious in hindsight, right? RIGHT?

AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH……………

On Monday night Eden Hazard decided that he wouldn’t mind if Antonio Conte hung around for a little while longer, so he turned it on against West Brom to bag himself two goals and 16 points. We can only speculate as to what prompted this sudden motivation from the temperamental Belgian, but I did note with interest that Alan ‘Chunky’ Pardew turned up at Stamford Bridge with the West Brom squad, his agent, his CV and some breath mints. The prospect of being managed by Pardew would be enough to motivate anyone into keeping their current manager in employment.

Regular readers will know that this is now the third GW review in which our old friend Steve Mounie has featured. He was one of the stars of GW 1, then disappeared off the radar until GW 16 when he once again reminded us all of his existence. In fact in my GW 16 review, I predicted that he wouldn’t be heard of again for quite a few weeks…

Just out by 4 Gameweeks…so close and yet so far – like most of his shots. Sorry! Cheap shot – like most of his shots. Ooops, I did it again! Unlike Steve, who barely does it at all. I’ll stop now.

The next names on the weekly heroes list are Salah and De Bruyne, both with 13 points, but I don’t need to go on about them – they’re the best two players in the league by a street, and you should really own at least one of them (although De Bruyne is over-priced on a pound per point basis y’know. Just saying…).

Continued on Page 2

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Posted on 14 Feb 2018, in Player Selection and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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