Liverpool, Spurs and Palace Make The Preview

Dec 6

Fantasy Football – Gameweek 16 Preview – Written by @NiallHawthorne

GW16 will be the final round of Premier League matches before the General Election in Britain happens. Regular readers of this column will know my political leanings, so I won’t make this a party-political broadcast. All I will say is that if you are eligible to vote, then please do bloody vote. Don’t be Conservative. It’ll be worth your time and Labour. You can always Change. They’re not all the same. Your vote will make a difference. Remain engaged. This isn’t just ‘another bloody election’. This one really counts. To borrow from that famous team in Red, ’This Means More’.

GW 16 Defender: Martin Kelly, Crystal Palace

In the 2019/20 FPL season, clean sheets are a myth, as rare and reliable as a genuine promise from Dominic Raab. Most of us spent the GDP of a small African country on defenders to start the season, and we’ve all migrated like wildebeest across the savannah to your Lundstrams, your Soyuncus and your Dunks.

Well now it’s time for another, and it’s time to make like JD in Scrubs and scream ‘EEEAAAGGGLLLLEEE’ as you pop Martin Kelly into your team. Admittedly he’s started just 8 matches this season, but he has hauled 5 clean sheets in those games. Throw in the fact that his competition has all decided that they’d like Christmas off this season, and he’s nailed on to start.

I’ll finish with this bonkers stat I came upon today: Since Uncle Woy joined Crystal Palace, he hasn’t spent a penny on transfer fees for defenders, and they have more clean sheets than everyone in that time outside of City, Liverpool, Spurs and Chelsea.

I know, right?

GW 16 Midfielder: Dele Alli, Tottenham Hotspur

Some people say that Pochettino didn’t know how to get the best out of Alli in recent seasons.

Some people say that the dressing room atmosphere wasn’t right.

I’m telling you now the real reason behind the dip in form of Dele Alli – he was sulking that the food concourse in the ‘New White Hart Lane’ wasn’t called the ‘Deli Alley’. He’s right too, what a wasted opportunity. Same as not making Harry Winks wear squad number 40. Is all the joy gone from the world? (I’ll answer that definitively after the election).

Back to FPL matters, and Alli has got over his tantrum, and is now producing the kind of form that made him a must-have three seasons ago when he plundered 18 goals and 11 assists. He has 4 goals and 1 assist in his last seven, and is really feeding off the Jose Juice. So, my advice is jump on board while you can, because as sure as Boris is a lying buffoon, Jose will alienate Alli and make him all mardy again in the future.

GW16 Forward: Lys Mousset, Sheffield United

Things I know about Lys Mousset:

He was rubbish at Bournemouth

He isn’t rubbish at Sheffield United

His hamstrings are borrowed from Stretch Armstrong.

When he pulled up late in the game against Manchester United under two weeks ago, it looked to me (a seasoned football watching veteran) that he was out until the New Year. I could have sworn I heard the ‘twang’. Yet here we are just days later and he’s already played 85 minutes at Molineux. This is a good thing, because it allows us to indulge in the luxuriantly tasty Mousse(t) on offer. 5 goals and 3 assist thus far? At a price tag a smidgeon above £5 million? Ooh, yes please! Delicious.

GW16 Captain: Mohammed Salah, Liverpool

This time last year, Salah took a trip to the South Coast and baked himself a lovely cake which was made of three goals with 11 Cherries on the top.

Roll forward 12 months and Liverpool are in sensational form (at time of typing!) while Bournemouth…are not.

Salah hasn’t quite hit the heights of previous seasons but still has 6 goals and 3 assists thus far, but you sense that it could be about to click for him, and where better for that to happen than on a ground he has fond memories of.

He’s going to batter Bournemouth, and Howe!

GW16 Outsider: James Ward-Prowse, Southampton

One of the modern features of football (reflecting the changes we’re seeing in society in general) is the proliferation of double-barrel surnames. Something I have spotted about double-barrel surname players is that they tend to be quite good. In fact, I think I’ve spotted a trend whereby the more hyphenated your name, the better you are, and specifically the more first names you have as surnames, the more world class you become.

James Ward-Prowse – Pretty good. 6/10

Callum Hudson-Odoi – Very good. 7/10

Ruben Loftus-Cheek – Excellent. 8/10

Trent Alexander-Arnold – Ridiculously good. 10/10

Please send more examples to prove this theory to @FantasyYIRMA.

In the meantime, James Ward-Prowse is on fire with 3 goals in his last four games. His dead ball expertise has never been in doubt, so with an ownership of just 1.6% you could do a lot worse for a differential.

GW16 Draft: Danny Drinkwater, Burnley

Now I know that modern attention spans seem to be a lot shorter than they used to be, but I’m here to tell you that…..

I’ve forgotten what I was going to say.

Anyway, Danny Drinkwater has reappeared after a period of rehabilitation caused by the fact that he drank a little too much of something that wasn’t water. He had 3 goals, 8 assists and 129 points a few seasons ago y’know. He’s also got a title winners medal in his back pocket, so if you’re scratching around for something different for your draft team, take a long cool drink of Danny.

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