Written By Niall Hawthorne
In the history of mankind, we have never had more methods of communicating with others. The advent of t’internet and mobile phones have expanded our options beyond those of shouting out the window and, err, carrier pigeon.
Yet, in this year above all others it seems, more and more of us are feeling isolated, trapped and unable to talk to anyone about what is bothering them.
Which goes to show that it’s not the modes of communication that are important, it’s the understanding and belief that talking helps and that there are others willing to listen.
It doesn’t matter if you need to talk about the effects of a global pandemic on your mental or physical health or a moan about your latest FPL rank.
Talk. Text. Zoom. Ring. Knock.
But if these GW7 tips are rotten, keep those thoughts to yourself and don’t mither me. I’m trying my best!
Defender: Kurt Zouma, Chelsea
The rumour on the grapevine is that Frank ‘Frankie’ Lampard just noticed that league points are awarded to the team that wins games, rather than the team that scores the most/best goals.
Two consecutive clean sheets (admittedly one in the Champions League midweek) is as welcome as it is surprising, but with a trip to Turf Moor looming this weekend, they have a real chance of the shut-out hat-trick.
Burnley have drawn an attacking blank not once, not twice but thrice already this season including in both home games. Rumours of a takeover bid by people who may not really get Burnley (or morals or business, allegedly) abound so there may be an element of distraction surrounding the club.
Hey, after all the online calls, quizzes and meetings, we’re all ‘Zouma’s’ in 2020…
Midfielder: Sadio Mane, Liverpool
While this is a tip for Sadio to do bits this weekend, it’s also a short piece about the intensely searing ‘Salah v Mane’ debate that is ripping society apart, in my head at least.
Salah has played every minute of the league campaign thus far, notching 6 goals, 1 assist and 50 points.
Sadio missed one game due to the ‘rona and has 4 goals and 2 assists, with 39 points
Seems pretty clear cut, right?
Well on a Points Per Minute basis, Salah leads with a point every 10.8 minutes. Mane has a point every 11.2 minutes, so that’s close.
Then you notice that Mane is £0.4m cheaper and has a whopping 38% lower ownership. THAT is why he’s worth a punt. Your move.
Forward: Karlan Grant, West Bromwich Albion
*Casually drops a 0.0% owned forward tip for GW6*
Straight into the team since GW5 with a goal and three bonus points in GW6. Facing a Fulham side who have conceded 14 goals in 6 games.
Plus, Fulham have that lad Areola in goal, and he’s a bit of a tit.
Captain: Heung-Min Son, Tottenham Hotspur
Ooooh, that’s a radical call! What insight! He’s tipped Son!
1. This is a free service
2. We’ve all come a cropper this season by trying to be too ‘clever’
3. Brighton are conceding two goals a game on average
4. When Brighton face ‘Top 6’ opponents, they concede over three goals a game.
In summary, bite me.
ED: Picture Credit: Definitely Blame @eisha_acton_
Outsider: Federico Fernandez, Newcastle United
I love a bit of a punt, and with Lucas Digne joining Richarlison on the naughty step, Newcastle’s opponents this weekend are significantly weakened in an attacking sense.
The absence of Richarlison at Southampton last weekend showed how crucial he is to Everton’s attacking play, as they were shut out reasonably comfortably.
Finally, Jordan Pickford now requires a bodyguard. This is going to be distracting when he’s stood in the goal behind him while the game is going on, but on the plus side he no longer has trouble reaching items on the top shelf in the supermarket. Wahey!
Written by Niall Hawthorne.
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Niall Hawthorne has a strange view on most things.
Check out his blog for proof rantsofarebel.wordpress.com.