Cheapest 2019/20 FPL Players – 5 Unknown Stories Written by Jack A. Goodwin (He has lovely hair) A retired England Futsal International, Gareth Southgate’s Godson, Deaf Goalkeepers and a 4-year old model competition winner! The lowest value players of FPL go under the microscope this week as we delve in to the unknown world […]
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FPL Gameweek 1 Preview: Liverpool’s Mo Salah is Good
Fantasy Football – #FPL Gameweek 1 Preview – Written by @NiallHawthorne
I must caveat this while column by saying that I’m writing this before the transfer window has closed.
This is because the Lord and Master of FantasyYIRMA is currently starring in Home and Away, frolicking on the beach and being called a ‘Flaming Galah’ by Alf Stewart.
So, the time difference between our planets means I must type this on a Tuesday, and hope for the best.
In short, it’s all Ryan’s fault if anything that follows is factually inaccurate. But all credit to me if I’m right. Fair?
Defender: Kyle Walker, Manchester City
The eagerly-awaited rematch from the Asia Cup tussle between West Ham and Manchester City (said nobody ever) takes place this Saturday at the London Stadium. Having been on the end of a 4-1 shellacking in the Olympic Sports Stadium in China somewhere, Manuel Pellegrini could be forgiven for writing off GW1 for his troops and focusing all his attention on a trip to Brighton in August, which should be nice.
City in third gear should be more than a match for the Hammers, and I expect them to stroll to a routine 2-0 or 3-0 victory here to start their inexorable march towards reaching the fabled 115 points mark this season. Yes, I know that 38 x 3 = 114, but this is Manchester City we’re talking about.
Kyle Walker was noticeable for his quite frankly ridiculous bicycle-kick clearance from under his own crossbar in the dying seconds of the Community Shield, and as an ex-Spurs player he’ll delight in shutting down the Hammers on day one.
https://soundcloud.com/user-36523528/20192020-week-1-guess-whos-back
Midfielder: Youri Tielemans, Leicester City
To be frank, the multitude of midfield riches that the Brodge has at his disposal at Leicester City is quite frankly disgusting. Tielemans, Perez, Maddison, Barnes, Ndidi, Gray, Albrighton. It’s ridiculous, and means that Brendan may well opt for the lesser-known 2-7-1 formation this season. These are exciting times for Leicester City fans, and with £80 million (!) burning a hole in their pocket, I’m extremely excited to see who Brendan picks up to replace old slab head. (It’ll be Martin Skrtel, you know it will…).
Going forward the Foxes should be entertaining and while old Jamie Vardy can always be relied upon, it’s a newer arrival that excites me. I got on the Tielemans Train early in the second half of last season and he rewarded me with 3G and 5A in just over 1,000 minutes of action. With a full pre-season under his belt, this could be a mega season for a £6.5m midfield asset. That’s not to say that Perez at the same price should be overlooked, or even Maddison at £7m, but Tielemans is my man.
Plus, they face a Wolves side fresh from a lovely jaunt to Armenia this Thursday to play a team called Pyunik in what is sure to be 158-degree heat on a pitch made from baked clay. So where did you holiday this year, eh?
Forward: Chris Wood, Burnley
I know that pre-season ‘form’ can sometimes be misleading, but this guy has scored no less than 1,439 goals in just 3 pre-season matches (or something like that). Burnley disappointed last season but weren’t helped by their Europa League exploits in the month of July (and god knows Sean Dyche absolutely HATES Europe), so with no such distractions this season I reckon they’ll be the under-the-radar-quick-out-of-the-blocks team this season (like Watford were last season).
Plus, New Zealand sportspeople are about to dominate f*cking everything for the next few months.
Captain: Mo Salah, Liverpool
The only thing annoying me about this fixture is that it hasn’t come on a wet, cold November afternoon, after the plucky Canaries have had all their hope and optimism battered out of them, and they accept that trips to Anfield are meant to be endured rather than dreamed about.
There’s nothing more annoying than a plucky Canary, so while this won’t be as straightforward as it could have been for Liverpool, I can’t see anything other than a comprehensive home win with Salah bagging at least a quick brace to get his Golden Boot campaign off to a flyer. If he had that many chances against Manchester City, he should have at least 10 shots against Norwich. I wouldn’t even put you off that TC chip y’know…
Outsider: Callum Robinson, Sheffield United
There’s a type of player that always starts a season strongly. The type of player who is quick, thrives on good pitches, loves the sunshine, and disappears completely when it’s five below zero and even the pre-match handshake hurts.
Callum Robinson has four goals in pre-season and is your Duracell-bunny type attacking midfielder. A trip to the seaside to take on a notoriously leaky Bournemouth defence means that his mother will be getting quite a few ‘Ooh Mrs. Robinson’ comments on Saturday night, but in a purely footballing sense of course….
Draft: Kevin De Bruyne, Manchester City
It’s week one, and if you haven’t completed your draft yet, then I’m pointing out the bleeding obvious.
Fantasy Football – Gameweek 1 Preview – Written by @NiallHawthorne
Written by Niall Hawthorne.
Drop Niall a follow on twitter. Good thing about Twitter – you can always unfollow again later!
Niall Hawthorne has a strange view on most things.
Check out his blog for proof rantsofarebel.wordpress.com.
Cheapest Fantasy Football Players – 5 Unknown Stories
Jul 22
Cheapest 2019/20 FPL Players – 5 Unknown Stories Written by Jack A. Goodwin (He has lovely hair) A retired England Futsal International, Gareth Southgate’s Godson, Deaf Goalkeepers and a 4-year old model competition winner! The lowest value players of FPL go under the microscope this week as we delve in to the unknown world of […]
Fantasy Football – Players for Consideration Featuring Burnley, Everton and Crystal Palace
Jul 19
Since FantasyYIRMA.com launched in 2012 we’ve had more than 50 Guest Post writers submit content. Always happy to profile and showcase new writers on the site. If you are interested in writing about Fantasy Football, feel free to contact us at ryan@FantasyYIRMA.com. Many thanks to @FabioDuarteCopy on twitter for his submission as he runs through […]
Transfer Profiles: Christian Pulisic and Tanguy NDombele – Fantasy Football Options?
Jul 16
Transfer Profiles: Pulisic and NDombele Since FantasyYIRMA.com launched in 2012 we’ve had more than 50 Guest Post writers submit content. Always happy to profile and showcase new writers on the site. If you are interested in writing about Fantasy Football, feel free to contact us at ryan@FantasyYIRMA.com. Many thanks to @joeybob88888 aka the FF Genie on […]
Gameweek 38: And Now, The End is Near
GW38 Preview by @NiallHawthorne
there’s a Preview here somewhere…
And now, the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I’ll say it clear
I’ll state my case, of which I’m certain
I’ve lived a season that’s full
I’ve endured each and every game week
And more, much more than this
I did it my way
Regrets, I’ve had quite a few
But then again, too many to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption
I planned each captain pick
Each power chip along the season
And more, much more than this
I did it my way
Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew
When I wanted to throttle my motley crew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I stared at my phone, and I did shout
I faced it all and I stood tall
And did it my way
I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried
I’ve had my fill, my weeks of losing
And now, as tears subside
I find it all, all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a wise way
Oh no, no, not me
I did it my way
For what is man, what has he got?
If not FPL, then he has naught
To play the players he truly rates
And not the players of his best mates
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way
And did it my way
Defender: Aymeric Laporte, Manchester City
On the back of four clean sheets, a cheeky assist in GW37 and maximum bonus points for three weeks running, Laporte heads to the Amex to face Brighton & Hove Albion with it all on the line. As a Liverpool fan (I’m now happy to make this stunning revelation to you all) I know how this game will go. Brighton will camp on the edge of their box from minute one, hoping to hold out. Duffy and Dunk will spend 90 minutes flinging their bodies in the way of every one of the 374 shots that will be aimed at Ryan in the game. City will score early, will then keep their foot on the throttle, and will probably score four to secure the title. All the while, Brighton will forget that they too could attack, so Laporte’s average position for his clean sheet will be 5 yards inside the Brighton half. Easy defensive points, innit?
Midfielder: Eden Hazard, Chelsea
Eden Hazard will say farewell to Chelsea this Sunday before he departs for pastures new, and he’s going to want to put on a show. Chelsea are away to Leicester City and I reckon this game could finish 3-3 at least. Brendan Rodgers has a unique relationship with the final day of the season, as he once led Liverpool to a five-goal shellacking at Stoke City. I back Hazard to net and assist and then wave goodbye as he heads off into a new and even more lucrative life.
Forward: Sergio Aguero, Manchester City
He’s already scored a league winning goal deep in injury time, and he has 90 full minutes to do the same this weekend. Which he will do. Probably more than once. What a Kun….
Captain: Mo Salah, Liverpool
While Liverpool will end the season empty-handed, Mo Salah will be gunning to retain his Golden Boot award, and a home game to Wolves will offer him the opportunity to do just that. He’ll be fresh from not having faced Barca, and I reckon he’ll notch twice to seal the deal. Unless my Aguero tip turns out to be even more on the money than I fear…
Outsider: Ryan Fredericks, West Ham United
You know that thing a lot of customer service departments do to retain customer loyalty? They treat you shoddily for ages and ages and ages. You feel annoyed, then angry, then hopeless, then angry again, then you’re right on the verge of giving up, and THAT is when someone swoops in, does something they should have done at the very start, but it’s such a bloody relief that you feel happy it’s over, and you forget all about the crap that went before it, and you go on your merry way.
That’s West Ham United, that is. Ropey all season long, but they’ve now won a couple of games on the spin, and their fans will head into the summer feeling chipper and with hope in their hearts.
But who are we to complain? Ryan Fredericks is getting a game, is owned by 0.2% of FPL players, has two clean sheets and a goal in his last two appearances, and is facing a Watford team that will have both eyes on an FA Cup final and are going to dial it in.
Draft: Alexander Mitrovic, Fulham
He’s probably been dumped or traded by anyone who had him, as his recent form has been rank. However, he’s facing his former team, Fulham are showing a bit of form, and you just know how this goes, right?
Right, that’s me done for the season. Thanks to everyone who read this FPL/Brexit/Trump analysis piece each week, and for those who followed me and interacted with me on Twitter. To those of you who didn’t, you’re all miserable ungrateful b*stards.
Have a nice summer!
Niall
Honestly, There’s No Liverpool Players!
GW37 PREVIEW BY @NIALLHAWTHORNE
The final long weekend of football is upon us for GW37. Next week all the action will be squeezed into two action packed hours on a Sunday, but this week we have glorious FPL action from Friday through to Monday night.
Soak it in. Absorb it. Remember it. It’ll be next August before you experience it again.
If you are defending a lead, or scrambling for points, let me guide you to the promised land.
Defender: Sead Kolasinac, Arsenal
Time to roll the dice ladies and gents. You need to make up ground in your mini-league, and this is how you do it. You select a player from a calamitous defence who’s facing a team who refuse to attack and are intent on grinding out a 90 minute stalemate. That gives you what the experts call a differential.
Midfielder: Ryan Fraser, Bournemouth
Spurs travel to Deans Court this weekend in the middle of a pulsating Champions League semi-final against Ajax, trailing by a goal. It’s not often Spurs find themselves in this situation, and while they aren’t guaranteed a top four spot just yet, they’re probably safe considering the slapstick shodiness of their competition.
So they’re ripe for a plucking, as my randy old dyslexic pipe-smoking grandfather used to say. Ryan Fraser has been in sensational form since his agent told him that three top Premier League teams are interested, and a strong finish to the season would get him that big move. Motivation is a powerful tool.
Forward: Romelu Lukaku, Manchester United
Whether it’s for pride, a vain attempt at gaining a top four spot, or a desperate attempt to attract the attention of other clubs before the summer transfer window opens, Romelu Lukaku will turn up at Huddersfield this weekend, full of vim and vigour.
I’m personally looking forward to the goal-laden LukakuWatchYIRMA this weekend.
Bring. It. On.
DISCLAIMER: LOOKS LIKE BIG ROM WON’T MAKE GW37 DUE TO INJURY. BUT IT’S GW37 AND NIALL COULDN’T BE ARSED REWRITING IT. 
Captain: Jamie Vardy, Leicester City
There’s good form, great form and Jamie Vardy form.
The man is on fire, and he’s going to be facing a team that plays a defensive line so high that if it was adopted in GoT or Avengers Endgame, the show would have ended after 30 minutes.
Don’t lecture me about spoilers! You f*king ask me for them every bloody week! Make up your minds!
Anyway, Vardy to run riot and secure the title for Liverpool. You heard it here first.
Outsider: Ryan Babel, Fulham
Fulham travel to Molineux to face high flying Wolves, absolutely certain of a resounding victory. Everyone has now realised that the bottom four teams in the Premier League are like Kryptonite to Nuno Espirito Santo and his troops. I expect the now veteran clog merchant to continue his fine form for the Cottagers by extending their winning run to four games.
Draft: Sergio Rico, Fulham
Three clean sheets on the spin and a banker against Wolves. Nobody else owns him, so you should.
Fantasy Football – Gameweek 37 Preview – Written by @NiallHawthorne
Written by Niall Hawthorne.
Drop Niall a follow on twitter. Good thing about Twitter – you can always unfollow again later!
Niall Hawthorne has a strange view on most things.
Check out his blog for proof rantsofarebel.wordpress.com.
Spurs, Palace, Liverpool and More Liverpool
Apr 26
Fantasy Football – Gameweek 36 Preview – Written by @NiallHawthorne As the season end approaches, I found myself perusing through the Bang Average YIRMA league to see what kind of a standard this preview has helped (stop giggling) to engender. I must say loyal readers, you have very, very high standards (although why you continue […]
Spurs, Wolves and Arsenal (Sort Of) Make the Preview
Apr 19
Fantasy Football – Gameweek 35 Preview – Written by @NiallHawthorne And so, we’ve finally arrived at Double Game Week 35 – where those of us with chips left will roll the dice one last time. It’s like a weekend away in a budget Monte Carlo. In all seriousness though, this could be the week when […]
It’s Another Double Gameweek…Sort of…
Apr 10
Fantasy Football – Gameweek 34 Preview – Written by @NiallHawthorne Technically GW34 is a Double Gameweek. I say technically because the two teams doubling up are Brighton and Cardiff. That’s like having dinner with both Donald Trump and Nigel Farage. You get to eat, but you know you’re going to end up banging your head […]
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