It’s Another Double Gameweek…Sort of…

Apr 10

Fantasy Football – Gameweek 34 Preview – Written by @NiallHawthorne

Technically GW34 is a Double Gameweek. I say technically because the two teams doubling up are Brighton and Cardiff. That’s like having dinner with both Donald Trump and Nigel Farage. You get to eat, but you know you’re going to end up banging your head off the table by the time dessert is served.

All that said, let’s try and guide you on your way to that late season surge to the top of your mini-league, or at least mid-table. To be honest, if you’re at the bottom of your mini-league and still reading these previews, you’re doing it wrong, because most around you would have stopped playing in October.

Harsh, but true.

Defender: Shane Duffy, Brighton & Hove Albion

Duffy and Dunk have become one of the recognised centre-half partnerships in the Premier League, and they both have a game this week. Brighton face Bournemouth on Saturday, and Hove Albion face Cardiff City on Tuesday. Luckily for them the Premier League allow both teams to play at the same time, so Duffy & Dunk will line out for Brighton & Hove Albion in both matches. Not sure how that’s fair, but they’ve got away with it so far.

Shane Duffy gets my nod this week thanks to his five goals, two assists and the fact that there’s a fair chance of one clean sheet this week. Chris Hughton will be targeting these games as the ones that will secure their Premier League status once and for all this season. Five points separate them from Cardiff City so Tuesday night should be a tight, tense affair with goals at a premium. Cue a 5-4 thriller (with two headed goals from Duffy)

Midfielder: Anthony Martial, Manchester United

Due to Friday Night Football this week, I’m writing this before Manchester United are destroyed by Barcelona, so if Martial’s leg falls off, please disregard this section. However, if he stays fit, he will face a West Ham United side this weekend that has hit the beach. In fact, they’ve hit it so hard that their new shirt sponsor is TUI, their new kit supplier is Billabong and their pre-match meal is fish and chips. Nine goals conceded in their last four games against mighty teams like Cardiff and Huddersfield point towards a potential goal fest at Old Trafford as OGS tries to guide United to a Top 4 finish.

Lord Pogba has flounced himself into another ‘rut’ that he can’t quite blame on his gaffer this time, so I’m backing Tony Martial to provide the midfield spark this weekend.

Forward: Jamie Vardy, Leicester City

In his last eight games Jamie Vardy has eight goals, eight bonus points and two assists.

Jamie Vardy is having a party and everyone’s invited. Newcastle are the special guests this week. Wey Aye, Man!

Captain: Heung-Min Son, Tottenham Hotspur

Approaching GW34 there have been many, many, many, many articles debating whether Harry Kane should be in your team when he faces the utterly wojus Huddersfield Town at home.

Now that he’s crocked for the season (according to the never prone to exaggeration British press), it opens a glorious world of possibilities, which lead to the conclusion that you should move heaven and earth to get Heung-Min Son into your team at the earliest available opportunity.

The last time Harry Kane was crocked he missed game weeks 23 – 26. In that time Son played in game weeks 24-26, and scored 26 points in those three games. All three were at “home” (to my astonishment I discovered that Spurs have a new “home” now. Someone really should have mentioned that you know), and were against Watford, Newcastle and Leicester, who are all far better than Huddersfield Town.

Lads and ladies, this is a no-brainer. This lad will be the most popular South Korean since Gangnam Style was top of the charts. Captain him and you’ll all breathe a Psy of relief (soooo not sorry).

(ED: I’m personally not convinced he’ll even start… RYAN VS NIALL – FIGHT!!!!)

Outsider: Victor Camarasa, Cardiff City

Five goals, three assists this season (including two goals in his last three) and a double game week against Burnley and Brighton. Cardiff City are fighting for their lives, and they need all the inspiration they can get. Camarasa is their best player by a bazillion miles. In fact, he’s so skilful I get the distinct impression that he disgusts Neil Warnock, so he’s alright by me. He’s owned by less than 3% of FPL players and could give you a run for your money this week as a real differential.

Draft: Fernando Llorente, Tottenham Hotspur

Did I mention that Harry Kane apparently fell off a cliff last night? Awful tragedy. Send flowers to White Hart Lane, but be sure to put ‘The New’ at the start of the address because Spurs have a new stadium, apparently.

Anyway, due to these tragic circumstances Pochettino now has a choice to make. He can replace Kane with a traffic cone or Fernando Llorente. Rumour has it that the traffic cone has disappointed in training recently, and that Llorente may just get the nod. The 0.7% of FPL lunatics who own him will be very happy. You may be too if you draft him in.