FPL Gameweek 23 Preview from @NiallHawthorne Apparently, this forthcoming weekend is the time when most people break their New Year’s Resolutions. The lure of the pint, that takeaway curry or that BDSM club is just too much and we slip back into our old comfortable habits. Of course, for FPL players our New Year’s Resolutions […]
Blog Archives
Fantasy Football Review Meets Disney… Really
Jan 14
#FPL Gameweek 22 Review: Written by @JackAGoodwin GW #22 Review: Reader Vote – Disney x FPL So, why Disney I hear you cry. Obviously I am losing my touch and I need help. People also like to give an opinion, so I opened it up to Twitter and Disney was the resounding winner. Truth […]
Premier League: Best Alphabet Team Tournament – PART 2
Jan 9
The players have had their Christmas breaks, many mince pies and life mistakes later we’re back – up and running again for the finals of the FantasyYIRMA Best Alphabet Team Tournament! (ED: Part 2 brought to you 6 weeks after Part 1… but whatever..) NOTE – IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY – READ PART 1 FIRST […]
Liverpool, Watford and Wolves make the GW22 Preview
Jan 9
FPL Gameweek 22 Preview from @NiallHawthorne As the dust settles following a typically frantic festive fixture schedule, some of you may be casting your gaze across the ashes of your FPL squad and wondering how it’s possible your rank dropped so much during a two-week period when you were gorging on alcohol, chocolate and meat. […]
Liverpool, Manchester City and Arsenal Make the Preview???
Dec 27
FPL Gameweek 20 & 21 Preview from @NiallHawthorne Things that never stop rotating: The Earth and Premier League Teams at this time of year. While the rotation of the Earth guarantees that night follows day, the rotation of Premier League teams guarantees sod all. That’s the most scientific way of saying I haven’t a […]
Liverpool, Spurs and Newcastle Make the Christmas Preview
Dec 24
FPL Gameweek 19 Preview from @NiallHawthorne Gary Neville is on Sky Sports speaking like a Prime Minister over the issue of racism in modern society. The Prime Minister is shouting insults at people on the street. Frank Lampard is delivering tactical masterclasses as Chelsea boss against Jose Mourinho. Jose Mourinho is getting outsmarted and […]
Fantasy Football Themed Christmas Movies??
Dec 24
#FPL Gameweek 18 Review: Written by @JackAGoodwin GW18 Review: Arr Christmas – Christmas is edging ever so close, any of us doing anything other than reading this beautiful post are likely prepping the meat, tidying up the spare bedroom or manically deciding whether you’ve bought enough and should pop to the big Asda for […]
If Liverpool don’t Play, Does Fantasy Still Count??
Dec 19
Fantasy Football – Gameweek 17 Preview Written by @NiallHawthorne ‘Festive Football’ is a lot like Christmas itself these days. It’s just one day, on Boxing Day / St. Stephens’ Day / December 26th / Thursday (or whatever you call it yourself). That’s the day when an extra round of league fixtures is put into the […]
Mo Salah, KDB and A Questionable Sticker Book
Dec 19
#FPL Gameweek 17 Review: Written by @JackAGoodwin GW #17 Review: YIRMA-NINI Sticker Collection The prospect of a whole season of pun-induced ramble about the footie results is enough to leave you palpitating in terror – I am well aware, simmer down, this week we’ve light on the textual, heavy on the visual. Do you ever […]
Fantasy Football – Gameweek 17 Preview Written by @NiallHawthorne
Christmas as an adult is weird. There’s no other way to say it.
As a child, you had one question at Christmas, namely what Santa Claus was going to bring you.
As an adult, this time of year is a veritable cornucopia of riddles and puzzles and queries that make you want to scratch your head and then tear your hair out.
‘What can I get my beloved so that I still get to have sexual relations in 2020?’
‘Where is the Christmas party being held? What eejit booked that???’
‘They want us to be where at what time? In rush hour????’
‘Who invited them? You do remember that he’s a bit…y’know and she’s very handsy, yeah?’
‘How long is our kids Christmas play? Are they doing a remake of Ben Hur????’
‘Who am I going to Captain in GW17 so I can lord it over my work colleagues at the party?’
Well I can help with one of those questions. For the rest, you’re on your own.
GW 17 Defender: Richard Domingo Barbosa Pereira, Leicester City
As we glance at the fixture list for GW17 there are two standout home bankers where those of us with a weakness for gambling and a fondness for single life will lump all the Christmas budget on a double acca, and then spend 5 hours on Saturday sweating like a Tory at a foodbank.
I was tempted to tip either of the Liverpool fullbacks, but Jurgen is rotating like a Catherine Wheel on New Year’s Eve at the moment due to fixture congestion, so it’s time to tip the team that have no European / World Club Cup commitments, and are putting up the biggest challenge to the Scouse Mentality Monsters. That fixture on Boxing Day looks tastier than your Boxing Day Leftover Sandwich.
Pereira faces struggling Norwich City at the King Power Stadium, and he’s off the back of six positive returns in his last seven fixtures. He’s even picked up valuable bonus points in four of those. Admittedly a return of the Pukki party could leave you feeling as pukey as the morning after your Christmas party, but nobody has conceded fewer than the 10 conceded by the Foxes. A clean sheet beckons, and he may also add to has two goals and single assist so far, this season.
GW 17 Midfielder: Sadio Mane, Liverpool
There’s a video on t’internet of a young scally outside Anfield being interviewed by Redmen TV after a game, about a season or a season and a half ago. In said interview he pronounced quite matter-of-factly that Sadio Mane is the best player in the world.
Oh, how we all laughed. The viewers, the crowd around him and even the presenter!
Who’s laughing now, eh? That kid was a visionary. He knows his onions. Mane has been stellar for two seasons, and his performance against Everton last week was one for the ages.
This weekend he faces rock-bottom Watford, having had a nice little rest last weekend. Liverpool tend to batter Watford at Anfield, as demonstrated by Salah’s haul of four goals a couple of seasons ago.
Watford have a new management and coaching team installed. I don’t want to get too dramatic about this, but their first outing could prove to be a tragedy of Shakespearean proportions. Sadio! Sadio! Where for art thou hat-trick Sadio?
GW17 Forward: Tammy Abraham, Chelsea
While Chelsea are having their inevitable, and quite frankly overdue, first wobble under Frank Lampard, they face a forgiving fixture this weekend as they host Bournemouth.
That’s five defeats on the spin Bournemouth.
That’s Ake-less Bournemouth.
That’s probably Wilson-less and King-less Bournemouth.
I watched their performance at home to Liverpool last weekend, and they gave up. Absolutely and completely downed tools after Ake and Wilson were struck down by injury. That’s not a good sign. Chelsea need to steady the ship after two defeats in their last three, and Bournemouth are presenting them with a nice little float in the doldrums, which ironically could get them out of them…
GW17 Captain: Jamie Vardy, Leicester City
I know!
Shocking, right?
Well who else could you possibly captain this week? ELEVEN GOALS AND THREE ASSISTS IN HIS LAST 8 GW’S…84 POINTS IN 8 WEEKS.
He faces Norwich City who have conceded 34 goals in 16 games with just two clean sheets. He has his own record of 11 consecutive scoring games in sight. Leicester have won a club record eight in a row.
Look, you can captain somebody else if you want. It’s a free choice. But Vardy is owned by 50.2% of players, and 99.9999% of those are going to captain him.
So, take a chance if you want. But if I’m right and you’re wrong, it’ll be the biggest display of Red Arrows since the opening ceremony of the London Olympics in 2012. Good luck!
GW17 Outsider: Riyad Mahrez, Manchester City
Oh Pep, he’s such a scamp.
He’s like that kid you played football with on the street when you were a child. You know the type – he always had the flashiest, newest football that he insisted had to be used for the kickabout. Yet as soon as his team started to lose, he took his ball and flounced off home, wiping his tears and snot with the back of his sleeve telling anyone who wasn’t laughing at him that he heard his Mum calling him in for dinner.
So now that it seems apparent that the Premier League will lose its Pep next season, and that Guardiola seems resigned to the fact that his team aren’t good enough this season, I expect some different approaches. His future team sheets may well contain a player on the wing called ‘Ah feck it, Mahrez’.
Just 3.5% ownership, he could be a real wildcard for your squad especially when you consider that in just six starts this season he has four goals and 6 assists….
GW17 Draft: Gabriel Teodoro Martinelli Silva
One start. One goal. One bonus point.
When you have Aubameyang and Lacazette in your squad, it takes quite a maverick to decide to give a young kid a run.
However, this kid is decent. And have you seen Freddie Ljungberg recently? Rumour has it that Tom Cruise was his understudy for Top Gun 2, until Freddie decided to concentrate on coaching. THAT’S how maverick he is.
t
ED: Buy ball shaving stuff for Xmas
Get 20% Off + Free Shipping, with the code “BANGERS” at Manscaped.com
Fantasy Football – Gameweek 17 Preview Written by @NiallHawthorne
Written by Niall Hawthorne.
Drop Niall a follow on twitter. Good thing about Twitter – you can always unfollow again later!
Niall Hawthorne has a strange view on most things.
Check out his blog for proof rantsofarebel.wordpress.com.
FantasyYIRMA - Fantasy Football FPL 